Chapter One -- Arrival

I opened my eyes, then looked out the window, only to be greeted with a wave of anxiety.

I was in a car, going past places I have never seen before. It only seemed to get worse as I looked ahead of me to ask my mom where I was going, but she wasn't there. Instead, there were two people I failed to recognize in the seats in front of me.

My first instinct was to attack, and I went to raise my fist, only to realize that I couldn't move my arm. Had they broken it? Amputated it? What did I do to deserve this? Before I could stop myself, I tried to yell, but I just couldn't. There was obviously something in my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but to no avail.

Now, I just wanted to cry. I had never wanted so badly to go back and take the tests they had me do. They were stupid and pointless, and I know they knew that it was extremely difficult for me. I've always had trouble reading, but no one really knew why I couldn't complete that task at the age of seventeen. At least if I went back, I might be able to see my mom.

I looked up ahead of me once again to observe the driver, then I tried to head-butt his seat. It was the first time, I assume, that I've moved in this entire trip. He whipped around to face me, then looked back to the road unsympathetically. I continued to hit his seat until I broke down and began to cry. I just wanted to go home. I looked up to the person in the passenger seat, who I finally recognized to be the girl who did my testing. She had turned in her seat to face me, a syringe in her hand. I tried my hardest to scream as I attempted to kick her away, but I failed as she had injected whatever fluid was in there into my arm. I continued to try and keep her away, but then grew tired and weak, then my world came to black as I fell back asleep.

"…No. Not there." I heard muttering as I woke up. I found that I could finally sit up and look around with ease, and I felt lighter. My arm was still there, and I could feel and move it, so I tried to find what was holding me back seemingly moments ago. I looked around, then found a white jacket littered with restraints and ropes. In black marker, "#043" was written right over the breast.

I then looked up to find the source of the muttering. Before me stood a girl roughly around my age. She was pacing back and forth in the floor, her head hung low, as she kept whispering to herself. She was definitely odd, and I wasn't too sure if I could get used to this or not.

"It doesn't match the others, Kaileigh…" she kept going, then she stopped and stared at her desk. "It can't go there. It doesn't match. It has to match. This…This is too blue." She picked up a green sticker and stared at it for a long while, then set it down. "Not the right color…" Now she whimpered and groaned before she turned to face me. She smiled, almost gratefully, as she piled something in her hands as she came to me. She spilled an array of stickers and badges out over the bed I was on, then looked up to me, but I never actually felt our eyes lock.

"Good! You're awake; can you help me?" she asked, then before letting me respond, she continued by taking a green-ish blue star sticker and a very light blue sticker with a similar design. "Would you say this color can go between these two?" She then replaced the blue sticker, then gestured to the new star, "or these two?" She showed me all possible decisions, but I just looked up at her.

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters!" She bit her lip and snorted. "It's very important."

I sighed, then just picked the left combination, then she looked to it. She stared long and hard at it, then she collected her stickers and moved to the desk once again, sorting them out into a journal and closing it. I stood up carefully and walked to her. I came to the final decision that she might be here against her will like me, but she seemed to be holding it up well.

"What's your name?" I asked quietly, but she didn't respond. I repeated my question, a little louder this time, but she still didn't answer. Instead, she went back to mumbling. I frowned, irritated, then turned to the door as a creaking sound filled the room. The girl never looked back; she just stared at her spot on the desk.

"They're looking for you…" the girl whispered, and I nodded. I turned and looked back at my new roommate, then walked out.

"Who was that?" I asked, and the girl watched the room before closing the door.

"That's Kaileigh. She came here when she was nine. She doesn't remember a life outside of here." She stopped and glanced to me. "She was diagnosed with a disability and they didn't find it safe for her or the public, so they moved her."

"She's not…safe?" I looked back, feeling my panic coming back.

"Well…She is," she began to walk on down the hall, so I followed, "It's just a developmental disorder. I never said the researchers were smart."

"What is it then?"

"What is what?"

"The disability. What we were just talking about."

"Oh." She flashed a small smile and kept walking. "Autism."

"…Oh." I looked ahead, watching as we went into a room with a desk and three chairs, one on the other side of the table and two by the door. In the far chair sat a broad young man. He flashed me a smile, and it was the most afraid I had been this entire dilemma. He motioned for the girl to leave, and she nodded.

"I'm Katie," she whispered to me with a smile, then she turned and left. Once the door closed again, I looked to the man in front of me with a sigh.

"Hello, Sabrina," he said softly, and I nodded. "How do you like your room? Assuming you looked around."

"I did a little," I responded, biting my lip for a moment as I pondered over whether or not I should ask why I was there. Before I made my decision, he spoke up.

"Did testing go well?"

I looked up, then behind me at a wall, staring at it for a moment. "I suppose," I started, then I looked back to him, "but apparently not. Is this an asylum?"

He paused for a moment, then he looked up to the ceiling. He was quiet for a long while, then he finally answered with a "no". He didn't look back down as he continued to explain. "This is an institution of sorts, yes, but not for the mentally unstable. It's to protect kids and adults alike from the world outside."

"But you can't just shelter people. They—We aren't babies."

"I'm aware, but some kids are a little…less developed. I assume you met your roommate, right? Kaileigh?"

"Yeah, I did," I said, trying to keep back the fact that I thought she was absurd. "What does she have to do with this?"

"She verifies my point. She was born with a developmental delay. She's 17 years old now, but she has the mind of kid roughly 9 years old." He flashed an obviously fake smile as he continued. "If she stays here, we can help her learn everything she needs. But some kids aren't physically safe. Like Katie."

"What about her?" I was starting to get more upset the longer this conversation went on.

"She can't do too much on her own. She shouldn't have even been walking." He frowned, looking down and at a phone that teachers and workers would use, as if debating if he should call her back down or not. "She collapses at random, and if she hits something, well, you see what I mean. Lights bother her, too, as well as Kaileigh." He looked back to me, and I expected him to continue, but his thought resonated in the quiet room, undisturbed by another word.

"But what if—"

"That's it for this now, Sabrina," he said, flashing another smile. "I just wanted to introduce myself and welcome you here. I'm Luis, and I'm in charge of this place."

I nodded slowly, still upset and hurt by my own unanswered questions. I found myself standing, then gripping the back of the red and black chair.

"I suppose I'll see you tonight at dinner," he said, waving me out and grabbing onto the phone next to his workspace. "Kaileigh is never late, so I recommend you are ready before her."

The dinner hall was humongous. I almost felt like I was back at school again since the room was set up oddly similarly to a cafeteria. Kaileigh was already long gone by the time I was back at my room, but I managed to find Katie, who was sitting in a small green wheelchair. She wheeled herself beside me and smiled.

"You look so tense," she started, giggling. "Everybody is so sweet. C'mon, I want you to meet someone." She pushed my back lightly with her palm, then wheeled over to a boy, not sitting too far away from where I was standing. I watched and waited until she had stopped and motioned me over. I then forced myself to take a step, then another, up until I was standing at the table.

The boy looked up at me with the eyes of a frightened deer, and his breath seemed to have cut short. "This is Markus," Katie started, reaching out and grabbing his hand. He glanced to her, then nodded as his gaze slowly moved to me.

"H-Hi," he whispered, looking back to the table. I frowned, looking to him. Katie did the same, then moved as close as she could in her wheelchair so she could plant a small kiss on his cheek.

"Did you get anything to eat yet?"

"U-Uh, no. I-I'll go then…" He stood up quickly, then hurried away, his head low. I bit my lip as Katie sighed.

"He's not trying to be rude, he just doesn't do well with other people." Her voice was soft and almost hurt, but her smile barely altered. "He has some minor anxiety. He's getting through it, but the meds aren't worth anything. They don't help."

I nodded, then looked around for Kaileigh. It bothered me that she wasn't here, but she had left as I entered our room. I found her sitting alone in the corner, rocking and giggling as she ate her potatoes.

"She's okay," Katie said, as if she was reading me. "People with what she has often do better alone."

"Right," I said, dragging it out, then sighed.

This place annoyed me. Everyone here belonged out in the real world. They'd never learn to adapt to the changes if they stayed isolated in an asylum.

But one thing bothered me more than that. What did I end up having if I was here? Why was I here?