Chapter Four -- Confession

"Sabrina? Sabrina?" I groaned and opened my eyes. Kaileigh was staring me down. "Sabrina?"

"Yes, Kaileigh?"

"It's 7 o'clock."

I sighed, sitting up and looking to the calendar. I counted the "x"s until I got to the first open area, concluding by its position that it was the weekend. "It's Sunday. Don't you want to sleep in?" I knew the answer before she said it; "sleeping in" wasn't in her dictionary.

"I have things to do today," she said, rocking on her heels and staring up at the ceiling.

"Things like...?"

"Like everything else."

I frowned, then looked up to the ceiling as well, then Kaileigh turned away and faced the door. Without another word, and before I could say anything, she left, and I sighed. I fell onto my back and began to doze back off, then my phone buzzed. It wasn't actually my phone, it was confiscated when I first got here, but it was one Katie gave me. Everyone had one--they were used solely for talking with people in class, and everyone had everyone's number stored ahead of time, complete with numbers and physical descriptions for people who may forget. I, for some reason, have no trouble reading from a screen, just paper.

"Hey, I can help ya with reading. My roommate needs help as well, so I can get ya both. Interested?"

I looked up at the contact, and it said "Dari" in the black font. I smiled a little, looking back at the clock, which read 7:05.

"Sure, I guess," I started to reply, then sent it, working on a new text. "What time?" I sat up, defeated that I couldn't sleep anymore, then ran my fingers through my hair.

"How about in 30?"

I sighed. I had no interest whatsoever in getting up anytime soon. I was not about to abide by Kaileigh's imperialism, but I had no choice; I had to pass this class, no matter what, so I texted back with, "That's fine. See ya in a bit."

I sat up and got to my feet, then went to the mirror and stared at my face and freckles. My bright red hair was messy to the point that it didn't look real. I groaned, then brushed it out to get the tangles out, then threw on a blue t-shirt to go with the sweatpants I wore to bed. By the time I was done, there was another text. This time, it was from a girl named Ava, who sat behind me in class.

"Dari is in the shower. I'm her roommate, and she said to tell you our room is #5."

I smiled a little; at least I knew she was nice. I didn't know what else to expect, considering someone like Kile was not likely to be in the same room, but I was nervous about something. She was extremely quiet, but she helps people like Kaileigh out. It's not that Kaileigh was dumb, just that she had trouble learning new things and would often get extremely upset.

I turned back to the mirror and the reflection stared back at me. I bit my lip, then turned over to my nightstand and retrieve my hair tie. I bent down, my head past my knees, and collected my hair from there before tying it up into a messy bun. I looked back up and sighed, then looked to my phone. It was vibrating for a moment, then stopped, and I went over to see who I missed a call from. The flat screen read "Missed Call--Aaron F".

I tilted my head; I wasn't too sure I knew who that was. This was another case where I knew the name, and knew it well enough to figure out that he was in my class, but not enough to pin it to a face. Just before I could call him back, it rang again, this time from Katie. I quickly answered, and then looked back at myself in the mirror.

The first thing I noticed before anyone said anything was that someone was letting out shrill screeches and another two kids were yelling in the background. I frowned, intimidated by the sudden urge of emergency, then collected myself enough to say "hello?" into the phone.

"He--Guys! Shut up! Sorry, and I know it's early, but can you come to the cafeteria? There's an--Guys!--There's an emergency."

"The cafeteria?" I repeated.

"Yep, just come as fast as you can. Get water. Thanks." Immediately after, she hung up and my heart sank. I ran to the mini fridge, pulled out a bottle of water, then bolted.

By now, even as slow as it took me, I had figured out the basis of where everything was. It doesn't sound like much of a feat, but the place was built similar to an asylum from a horror movie, and the doors all looked the same. I took a sharp left and kept running. I had no endurance due to not doing anything physical, so my breaths were getting sharper and more separated. I took my final left turn and froze in my spot, staring the chaos.

Kaileigh was sitting in the floor, sobbing with blood near her feet. I couldn't tell from where, but it was still alarming to think it was hers, or anyone's. Ayden had Kile pinned to the ground, his wrists above his head, and they both wore black eyes and bruises, Ayden with a busted lip as a bonus. Then there was Markus, who was curled up with his arms over his head and in a state of hysterics. I didn't know where to go first, so I bolted in a random direction, which was towards Kaileigh.

She was gripping onto locks of brown hair that fell from her ponytail. Her fingers were beginning to turn white from how tight she held on, and I assumed from the way her hair fell that she was tugging on it. She looked at me, a sense of panic in her large brown eyes, and she screamed a blood curdling cry before shoving me away. "Bad! Bad!" she screamed, continuing to scoot away from me once again. She hiccuped and kicked at me. "Go! Go away!" She landed a hit on my right cheek and I recoiled.

I looked to a boy who was approaching us; he was lanky with shaggy blond hair. He took the water from me, then with the same amount of panic, whispered, "Go get Ayden. Calm him down." I nodded and stood, turning and running to him. He had started his yelling again as he hit Kile in the head. I came up behind him, grabbed him by the waist, and pulled him off. He was kicking and screaming, his face red with anger. He had tears of frustration rolling down his face as he sputtered another retort.

"Hey! Hey, calm down," I tried to whisper, but my grip on him loosened, making me tighten it again.

"He called her retarded! She's just like the rest of us!" He screeched, trying to get back to where he was.

"Retarded like you! You aren't different! I wasn't born screwed up in the head like the rest of you!"

Now Katie looked over. She bit the inside of her cheek and glared at him. "No they're not! Kaileigh can't control it! She's having a meltdown and she just needs help! And not everyone is like us, Kile, there's Nora, Aaron," she pointed to the boy with Kaileigh, "And Markus. It's not just you!"

Kile snarled, swinging at Ayden again, so I pulled him back just far enough to miss the punch. Just as Ayden wriggled out of my arms, the doors opened, and I quickly recognized Darilyn at the door, huffing and brushing her blond bangs from her face. A girl came up behind her; she had long, wavy, dusty brown hair, freckles, and glasses. She looked to Dari, then closed her eyes and yelled, "Everyone, shut up! You're making this worse just by being noisy!"

Immediately, the room quieted down, for the exception of Kaileigh and Aaron. She looked back to Darilyn, then walked over to Aaron to help him calm down Kaileigh. Darilyn coughed, then looked around the room, a tint of sadness in her blue eyes. "Everyone chill out," she said softly, letting her eyes rest on Ayden and Kile, who were no longer fighting and watching her closely. "Just chill."

"But he--"

"I don't care, Ayden. He said what he said, and now it's my turn." She cleared her throat, a flash of annoyance across her face, "Kile, stop being a brat. Ayden, just ignore him, Kaileigh will deal with him as she--" she coughed, then shook her head, "--As she pleases. Now, you guys are making Kaileigh's meltdown and Markus's attack worse." I turned to Markus, who was now joined by Katie. She was squatting in front of him, stroking his dark hair and whispering to him. She looked to me, smiled, and mouthed, "Thank you." I nodded, then looked to Ava, who motioned for me to follow her, so I stood and walked with her and Darilyn to their room.

~~~

The next day in class, it was borderline silent. The only sources of sound were Kaileigh rocking back and forth in her chair, mumbling to herself, Darilyn's occasional tics, and Ayden's army green fidget spinner whirring. I turned and looked to Darilyn, who was reading ahead in our book. The tutoring went okay the day before, but I didn't really learn how to cope with what I had. It was just as hard to read, but at least it wasn't entirely impossible anymore. Darilyn caught my gaze and flashed a smile. "You got this?" she whispered, and I nodded.

"I think so," I smiled back, then pulled out my phone. Despite what we went over, I was going to try and read it from my phone. I stared at the book cover, then typed the name into my web browser. I pulled up the book and sighed, resting my head on the desk's flat surface. It was quiet for another moment, then Darilyn let out a loud cough. In a frightened response, Ayden yelped, then chucked his spinner against the wall. He gasped, looked back at everyone staring at him, then slowly stood to retrieve his toy. He picked it up, then observed the spot on the wall; there was now a fine dent, and he groaned.

"She's gonna kill me," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked back to me, flashing me a goofy smile, then returned to his seat. Just as he sat down, Mrs. Kaufner came into the room.

"We're doing something different today, class. Take out a paper and pen, we're going to write letters to others in the class." I sighed. I wasn't going to make it through by using my phone on this one, meaning I might have to use Dari to help me. I glanced to her, just in time to watch another wince. "I heard there was some trouble yesterday about the other students, so we're going to use this as a bonding exercise. Before you turn it in, I will be looking over what you've written." I glanced over to Ayden, who was bouncing in his seat. He had a glint of excitement in his eyes as he turned to me and waved. I waved back, then converted my focus to the assignment again. "This will be a participation grade, and the letters can be anonymous as long as I know who wrote it."

Darilyn looked to me and whispered, "You want help?" I nodded, then looked around the room.

"There will only be one letter per person, meaning you'll have to pick someone and come to me," Mrs. Kaufner added, "If you're person is picked, you'll have to pick someone else. If you're ready, come up to me with your person in mind."

Almost immediately, Kile and Ayden got up. They glared at each other for a solid second, then Ayden pushed ahead and went to the teacher. They exchanged a few words, then he sat back down.

After a long while of working with Dari, I got my letter finished and went to get it checked. I had picked Kaileigh, since she was the only one left. It sort of explained itself since she was so alone all the time. She already had hers turned in and was sitting in her chair, going through her sticker collection. Mrs. Kaufner looked my letter over, smiled, then put it in the pile, then took Darilyn's and did the same with hers. Then, after jotting down our grades, she stood up.

"Girls, you can go back," she said, then took a hold on the stack of papers. "Class! When I call your name, come get your paper. Aaron, Ava, Ayden," the three stood up to get their letters someone else had written. I groaned, knowing I would be last. "Darilyn, Kaileigh, Katie, Kile." I watched as each person rose and sat. "Lilian, Mackenzie, Markus, and Sabrina." I finally got up and went to get my paper. It was folded neatly and had my name written on the visible fold. I sat down, and Darilyn asked to take my paper so she could send me what it said to my phone and I could read it properly. I handed it over and she read it carefully, then her face lit up.

"Cute," she whispered as she began typing. It took a solid ten minutes, then my phone buzzed.

"This is anonymous. Sorry for that, Sab." I bit my lip, trying to decide if I like the nickname. "I want to do this assignment as much as you do, so I guess I'll say what's been on my mind. You're different to me than you are to everyone else, and I'm not sure how else to put it, but I think it's possible that maybe we can go for something? Maybe? I dunno, but I really like you. I want to be a close person to you, whether it's your boyfriend or not, but I kinda like the first idea, don't you? Of course, you don't know who I am yet. Let's make a plan, okay? Meet me in the cafeteria at 9 tonight, an hour before curfew, and I'll confess to you there in person."

I glanced to Darilyn, who gave me a thumbs-up followed by a yip and twitch. I smiled, then looked around the room, but no one was looking back at me like I hoped.

~~~

I looked at myself one more time in the mirror. I thought I would have something cuter than a hoodie and jeans, but I suppose not. I looked back to Kaileigh, who was studying me, then I went back to my reflection.

"Are you trying to impress him?" she asked bluntly, and I shrugged.

"I don't even know who it is. It could be Kile for all I know."

"Kile's mean," she repeated for the tenth time in the past hour, "he said I was--"

"I know what he said," I cut in, turning to her. She stared at my feet, biting her lip and snapping her fingers repeatedly before shaking her head and biting her knuckle harshly.

"I know who wrote it. I know who wrote your letter, Sabrina."

My attention snapped completely to her. "Who?"

"He told me not to tell you," she puffed her cheeks at me, "so I'm not gonna." I frowned, then looked back to the mirror. "Don't worry, though, he thinks you're prettier like that. You have 10 minutes, Sabrina." I glanced at the alarm clock and sighed, then fluffed my hair and left.

I took my time going to the cafeteria. I knew we'd be the only ones since dinner ended 2 hours before, but then again, you never know here. I stopped at the doors and took in a deep breath, then slowly opened the doors.

There, in the back, stood Ayden Croft, rolling a fidget cube in his palm. I slowly approached him and he stopped to look up and smile at me. He looked me up and down, then took a step back.

"I tried," I said, letting a small smile form. He giggled, then looked back at my face.

"You read what I put then, huh?"

I nodded. "Thanks to Darilyn."

He blushed deeply, then looked to his feet, still rolling his toy. "So she read it, too?"

I nodded, then sat on the table beside him. "She thought it was cute," I said, trying my hardest to comfort him, but he didn't alter. I frowned, then looked at my knees. It was quiet for a long while later, then Ayden took in a deep breath.

"Sab?"

"Yes, Ayden?"

"..." He rocked on his heels, then hit his lip. "...I know it's only been a few days but, I mean," I didn't know what else to do, so I stood and hugged him. He hugged me back, burying his face in my neck. "Will you let me try?"

"Try what?"

Before anything else, he placed his hand behind my ear and kissed me. I stood frozen for a moment, but hesitantly kissed him back. When it broke, he watched my eyes carefully. "I know we can't do much here, but, uh..." he looked back down, his face beet red, "I really would like you to...to be my girlfriend? Maybe?"

I frowned a little. He had a point, we've only known each other a few days, so why did I want this so bad?

"I understand if you don't want to, I really do, so don't lie to me to protect me. There's nothing to protect me from."

I stood there, my thoughts racing, but I managed to squeak, "It's only been three days."

"Just let me try. If it doesn't work, we never really had time to form a solid friendship. But I seriously like you, Sabrina. Just give me two weeks. If it doesn't work, then we don't have to go anymore, no questions asked."

I watched his face spark a hint of sadness, but passion. He bit his lip again as he forced himself to watch me.

I don't understand why I felt so bad when I kissed him again, square on his lips, and told him it was a deal.