Grey Day

When the people who used to listen to the turmoil of your life and help you justify the use of the word 'turmoil', are the ones who can be found at the center of it all.

Every person that you meet believes that you always happily accept challenge with a smile- only because your feelings have grown too dark for them to recognize you any longer- because you have become a stranger.

When even those you love more than G-d can put in words, are no longer granted access to the contents of your soul.

When you only truly become aware of your essence when you hear the sound of thunder, and living in a constant state of melancholia is the greatest comfort you could ask for.

When sleep just seems like it will strip you of all emotion whatsoever, and take whatever humanity still remains, obliterating it sadistically.

When the things that used to make you laugh start to make you angry.

When the things that used to give you joy, start to remind you of all that is missing from your life.

Thoughts of the person for whom you'd be willing to sacrifice yourself only make you question what you've done to deserve to exist, and then you realize that if not for existing, you wouldn't have had all these problems, and that is when you allow your emotions to consume you entirely and dictate to you how to live. Except, is that really living at all?