drowning.

I'm drowning. Not with water, and not forcfully. I'm drowning myself in words and music to try to numb the pain. It's not working. I can't do it- I can't go on. I'll soon be drowning in my own blood. I'm sorry- I can't do it. It's too much to handle. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I can't go on. I just can't do it anymore. There's no hope left.

I'm drowning in my tears. I'm drowing and I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. I don't know why you don't get it- when I say, "I'm fine" or "it's okay, though," I am crying. I am crying out for help but you don't hear. You only hear the mask and don't see the tear-streaks. I'm sorry.

I'm drowning and you don't see it. I'm drowning myself so it doesn't hurt anymore. I listen to music in a volume that I can't hear anything else, I can't hear my own sobs. I drown myself in my words that try to express my feelings but nothing can quite express how I feel. Nothing can ever truly express how I feel.

I don't know how to stop feeling. I don't know how to stop loving you and I'm sorry. You may be the reason for my ultimate downfall. You're so kind and talented and it hurts to see you every day. I always see what we were and what we could never be. All of our plans- gone. The scars that this broken love has caused will haunt me forever. It's like a tattoo that will never go away and that'll haunt me for the rest of my days.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.