It’s in the eyes

I looked outside and saw him, up on the roof. He stood on the edge taunting a wind to decide for him. I threw open my window and shouted.

"Please please don't"

He couldn't hear me. I grabbed my jacket and ran the steps burned into my legs as I hurled myself threw the metal door to the roof. I saw him. He was sitting now legs dangling off the edge, he heard the door open and looked up at me our eyes connected and for a moment time froze.

I didn’t knew his name but I felt like I knew him. The apartment building ten feet from mine our balconies almost touched. He would sit out there and play his guitar with the wind that was only ever felt between skyscrapers creating a duet with him. He caught me listening a few times but he'd only smile and keep playing.

I didn’t mean to watch him, it happens when you work from home and the only entertainment is out your windows. He was the kind of person that you saw and could imagine a whole life with. The mind working through the nuances of our first fight. How he begged not to make him leave when it’s over. The way he hummed while he made eggs in the morning only if he thought no one could hear. How he would sit every morning reading the paper even though the headlines only served to anger. He always kept so much emotion in his eyes.

Even now i saw the apology in his eyes as he pushed off from the ledge. I ran forward realizing only when it was too late that i did not want to look. People ran amok trying to comprehend what had just happened, he lay on a crumpled car his body barely twisted or convulsed.

I stood for a moment longer watching until the sound of sirens approached at a distance. I walked slowly back into my building, my shoes barely making a sound. Nothing to prove I ever knew him. Any evidence of his effect on my life was in memories doomed to slowly fade into the drab chatter of everyday life.