Not Anymore

"Just go, you're not wanted here.” she said. I felt like that was the end of me. She was really kicking me out, after all the time spent together, after all the memories. She treated me like I never meant anything to her.

"Please, listen to me!"

"I can't, I don't love you anymore..." How could she say that? All I did was say the truth and this is what happens. She told me to be honest... Well I was. Why is she doing this to me right now? I love her, doesn't she know it?

"You're lying!"

"I am not. Please go away, I don't ever want to see you again", she kept her emotionless expression, like we didn't spent our entire lives together. Has she always felt this way? Was I never loved? I felt like I was going to die right there. I saw my life flash before my eyes... it's what they say. I saw my life and every single memory included her, she was my life. But maybe I wasn't hers. If she wants me to leave, I will.

"...fine. It's okay"

It's not okay.

"I will go."

I don't want to go.

"I'll leave you alone and never come back."

Please change your mind, don't let me go.

"I'll be fine anyway."

I will not.

"I don't need you."

I'm lying... Please let me stay...

Let me stay...

I love you...

Let me stay...

"Let me stay!! You can't do this to me... Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?”

“I don’t care how you feel, you don’t belong here anymore. Don’t make a scene and please go.”

I don’t belong…?

“Where? Where am I supposed to go?”

“I don’t care… find another family” How can she say that so easily?

“This is my family, mom!”

“No, it isn’t. You’re not my daughter anymore; I can’t stand seeing you after what you’ve told me.” After her painful words, I finally let my tears flow down my face like river, hoping they would take my pain away.

They didn’t.

“Does it really matter what gender I prefer? How does the fact that I am dating the same sex change anything in our family?”

“It changes everything. This isn’t the daughter I raised, the daughter I spent my life with and definitely this isn’t the daughter I love. You are not normal. You should be ashamed. Now please leave so I can go back inside to my husband.”

“You can’t just forget you have a daughter and leave me on the streets… Mom, please, I beg you… I am the same me. The daughter you love. I haven’t changed. Just give me a chance and-“

She slammed the door. She threw me away; like I was some piece of garbage. I wasn’t her daughter anymore. Mommy, how could you do this? You didn’t really mean to say those harsh words, did you? Mommy, I am on my own. Help me. You said you’ll be there, you’ll protect me, you’ll save me but you’re the one who left me. Is there anyone who cares about me now that I am alone, without a place to stay and worse… without a family?

Without the ones who once loved me.