{follow your head, not your heart}

I'm getting tired of everything I know and love.

Don't ask me,

Nothing's not enough.

I hate the thought of love,

I'll never do it again.

All these attempts

Just leave me broken in the end.

The sweet essence of loneliness

Seems to engulf my mind

Though it's nothing compared

To the way I used to lie.

Lie about myself

Lie straight to my face.

'Though life is just not worth it',

I say, 'I'll just be replaced'.

And these are my true feelings

Even if I'd never admit,

But the sin of lie is nothing

Compared to the crime I want to commit.

'Your face is beautiful'

'Your eyes are crystal clear'—

I wish my eyes reflected my own soul

Showed these sudden urges I call rare.

Well,

Not everything can be normal.

Things can't be the way they used to be.

'I'm sorry', I said to my heart,

'Why did you have to leave me?'

And with a simple cry,

A whimper I've never heard before,

'You're hurt is just too much'

'I should be sorry- I'd just like more.'

'More?' I asked,

I'd never thought of so.

Giving is just not my style,

Not after two years ago.

'I've brought so much sorrow,

'Too much for you to bare',

As tears run down my cheeks,

My heart seems not to care.

With a final attempt,

I grasp onto what's right,

'Will you ever forgive me?'

'I know I lost sight—'

'Sight of what, God damn it??'

My heart retorts back,

'You let your mind make decisions,’

'And love is what you lack'.

It all hits me then—

What my heart says is true.

I've never once let my heart follow what it felt,

Let alone act on what I should do.

My heart then turns around,

'If I come back, I make decisions',

This organ smirked with a sinister plan,

'You're the one that's going to listen.'

But before I can agree,

My heart leaps out of my chest.

More or less it didn't leave me,

I fell for another person I met.

A/N : What’s better than some old edgy poetry lmao