slow pendulums

Sometimes

In the quietest moments of the day

Inside my head

With my heart on my sleeve;

the world passes by around me

In seconds, made into hours

slow and sweet

The real becomes the illusional

The delusion becomes the tangible

Sometimes

The only time I feel is 

in the loudest moments 

alone in my head; the world is raw

and my senses flow and emotions 

unchained, unsurpassed and unabridged

my reflection is our reflection 

Memories, the past relived 

the choices unmade to be remade

the outcome yet to BEcome 

a moment frozen to be criticized 

A scrutiny to become immortalized 

Morality to become challenged 

One stave at a time, one breath at a time

An inhale of the world around me

An exhale of accepting the things I could not change

And cannot change 

An aerial view of the things that 

claw away at me, 

chip away at me until

a ghost is all I know of myself;

A perversion left from the erosion

and an exoskeleton left behind.

A tidal current of the choices I made

And we make;

The sad things that I cannot express except for in those moments,

inside my head.

and in those moments, I let go

the tears I dare not let fall

and feel the things I will not feel

not in front of you

not in the view of anyone

To be made human inside my head

Is the sweetest surrender yet. 

A quiet, melancholic moment.

only for a moment.