Afraid

The only thing that ever came out of that mouth of yours were lies. You lied so much that I couldn't even tell you when you were telling the truth. You twisted your corrupt words into food and fed them to me until I was full of lies about how you saw me or how you felt. "I love you"s thrown around like seeds, you hoping one would plant in my brain and grow into a rose telling me over and over that you loved me. But now you're gone and I can see right through you. The rose thorns stabbing my mind, making me numb when thinking about you. You hurt me.

And I'm afraid to love anymore.

My biggest fear out of a world filled to the brim in hate is to love. You broke me, trained me like the little puppy dog I am to sit and stay when I should've ran.

I am so afraid that I can't love anyone, I can't let anyone love me.

And so I hurt.

I hurt myself and the people who want to love me. This fear constantly whispering in my ear making me push anyone and everyone away who tries to help me. I built a wall around my heart out of the bricks you threw at me, but I locked everyone out and left me inside alone. My heart is empty, never to be filled again and it is because you lied.

They say lying is such a basic thing that humans will and always will do, but the amount of lies and hatred that came from your sweet lips I didn't think was humanly possible. You hurt me in ways I never thought you were capable of. Tormenting and torturing me with your words and actions and yet I still love you

And thats why my fear is love.