Happiness can’t be lonely

The sun was lowering - in the golden horizon, in the dissolving roofs of houses and lonely standing huts. Its rays were sliding over the surfaces and flooding the space with light and warmth. The wind was feebly blowing and was slightly felt. The air was smelling of hay and earth and was heavy and saturated. The southern climate was at the peak of its hospitality.

The eternal sky - sleepy-truthful and sad, concealing infinity behind itself, today you are so pure and beautiful, that I want to fly away, leave this cage of the Earth and rise higher. Only space, space and time for thoughts, landscapes and loneliness. We do not want to be happy, we can not, we do not know how - we do not see our happiness, we do not notice, alas, we do not value people, we do not value moments. We are rushing to where the weekdays are dragging, not even trying to resist. We ourselves have abandoned romance, and now we wonder where it disappeared. Anywhere - just went to others, to those who need it. After all, we used to just go to the goal: today I'll buy a new raincoat, tomorrow a car, a year later I'll open the farm. It is not right ... You can not do it this way. This is the easiest way to disappear in things and become a nobody, we were always so wanting exactly just it ... Youth is beautiful with its dreams and idealism, you set high goals, which you will never achieve in the future. Hopes die with age. We become mediocre and ordinary - we become ordinary people, forgetting that we were born humans.

The evening has already begun to tint the latitudes with its dark tones, the air has become fresh and sharp. Sounds almost were not coming and only rare birds were cuting the ears with their long cries. In the distance the haze was thickening and his flakes were nicely embracing the graying roofs. The coolness of the approaching night was silent and peaceful. Nothing was wanted and nothing was needed. It was nice and beautiful, and the soul was not asking for anything superfluous. Houses were stretching along the roads. The smoke with an even line was emerging from the pipes. The stones of the road were pleasantly warming the feet, and sand dust was drowing patterns in the distance. The realm of lightness and freedom was leading away from the past and worries. The head was empty and only rare thoughts were violating its forgetting.

The first stars began to appear on the horizon. Single clouds were crawling along the dying sky. Laughter and barking of dogs, sound of utensils and someone's speech were coming from the courtyards. People were preparing for supper. Women in national dresses and with white bandages from the heat on their heads were taking pots with food and covering the tables. The children were hastily running toward them with a cheerful crowd. The faces were carefree and full of smiles, and on the soul was easy and calm. Labor day was coming to its end, and people were enjoying the life. And it really was life, not its likeness, not the illusion of living. Local dwellers know its price and spend it with profit. It's nice to see, that the extinction of the spirit has not touched that latitudes.

Sunset went far beyond the horizon, and the sun has drowned in its expanses. The wind became cold, and the feet began to feel the coolness of the falling asleep land. The night was approaching and carrying secrets and magic - it was a southern night, such nights are especially sweet. In them lies a certain mystery, the ardor of hot nature and the fire of immodest desires. It's a sin to spend such nights alone.

Twilight filled the district, from somewhere far away was coming female singing and the sad sounds of the guitar.

The atmosphere was giving a pleasant calmness. It was nice and carefree. The voices subsided and became discernible in their dilapidated diversity.

The sky was tall and dense, with bright, large, abundantly shining stars, resembling lanterns or cat's eyes. Somewhere there is my star, somewhere there. Among all the accumulation of these lights, these bright points on the black canvas of the bottomless southern sky, it also shines, shines for me, it is important only to me to notice it, to find in this endless brilliant ocean.

Fate is always somewhere near, it never hides and especially does not run away. We are walking around it, we walking an not noticing. We do not see our destiny, as if live with a bandage in front of our eyes.

And as a result - loneliness, sharp, prickly and cold, with a lump in the throat and a dizziness in the soul, without favorite eyes, without warm hands and a gentle voice, simply because one day we could not distinguish this voice from thousands of others, could not find these eyes in a same-type crowd, could not discern these hands from the rest. It is insulting and painful to realize, that the whole fate can be decided in one day, in a moment, and there is nobody to blame for this. We trust our heart, our feelings, our desires, we ourselves are executioners and judges. Happiness is like a coin - now it is lying on your hand, but then you is throwing it into cold water, and it will never be yours. Such way, all our wealth disappears - love, joy and understanding. Broken crystal never gathers, what to say about the heart.

The night was in full swing, the grass was covering with dew and was pleasantly cooling with moisture and freshness. No voices, no animals, no grasshoppers, no sound, everything stopped, the night is boundless and empty, it is dragging and absorbing into its gloomy and unchanging calm. Where we will be tomorrow ... everything depends on where we are going today and where we were going yesterday, sometimes the simplest truths are given the most hard and often too late.

Words are superfluous, when nothing is possible to correct, promises are ridiculous, and there is no need for forgiveness. This is just a husk, which we are trying to disguise the mistakes of our heart. However, the heart is not mistaken, it only chooses, what it needs. For this you can not blame.

The dawning lit up the horizon line and slowly began to dissolve the melting night, it was fresh and pleasant and a light wind was gently caressing the skin. The breathing of nature is especially felt at such moments and giving a sense of the completeness and diversity of this life.

Minutes were stretching unconstrained and measured, and I was wanting them not to end, there is some kind of quivering and sincere charm in such dawn minutes.

I looked at the sky and breathed this limitlessness. Here is our life, stretch out a hand and feel its taste.

A large bright sun appeared, leaned out a thin strip of its periphery, throwing long and streaming rays on the plane of the morning land. It became warmer and drier, the dew began to disappear, and the air was filled with spicy smells, heavy and was acquiring a sharp and viscous consistency with shades of stiffness and dampness. The day has come.

Such way, day after day all the life finishes, and each of days is special. We fall asleep with fatigue, and, after sleeping, we run from houses on works and shops, and then we blow out on the cake for one candle more and realize, that another one year has left us. It left forever, only loneliness and a feeling of emptiness remain. Sometimes so uncomfortable under this vast sky, from your own uselessness and anguish. We do not have time to take your happiness by the hand. So it is: one day one did not had time and the two remained forever without each other, everything has its price.

The sun reached the zenith and crumbled into the rays and the heat. Branches threw shadows and drew patterned pictures, frames melted. Everything was bright and was seeming to be painted. Houses were silent in the noonday warmth. In the distance, two girls were walking to the well for the water, some bird was staggering at the top of the tree and making rare screams. Nature was in dreamy bliss and was carrying away into its warmth.

Time passed beyond midday, the sky bacame clouded by rare clouds. The heat began to subside, the air became lighter and cleaner. I sat on the roadside and closed my eyes. All has disappeared.

I was awakened by the noise of the wheels, the car drove along the broken track and disappeared behind the turn, the evening came and the horizon has glowed pink. It was free and good. And at the same time lonely.

The sunset became darker and the sun approached the line of the Earth. The line, beyond which, perhaps, is so cherished happiness. Its motives can be heard even now.

The reddened disk half disappeared and its light gently filled the expanses with the last rays.

How to know what our tomorrow will be like ...

The last golden colors left the sky and the evening passed into the night. And now again there is silence, the only thing, that is never inseparable with the soul. It was cold and fresh. Only the chilling darkness around. In it will melt both secrets, and desires, and tears. So in the course of days we are melting, burning and ceasing to be ourselves, we are ceasing to be at all, we are existing instead of living. Somehow wrong it is.

We are spread across the map, across cities and houses. All the further from each other and all closer to solitude.

The wind blew, single raindrops sprinkled. They were remaining on the face and hands and were pleasantly tickling the skin. The last window has darkened. All went to bed.

A single star was burning in the sky. My ... although not, not my - ours, happiness can't be lonely.