Our Super Delicious Christmas Crambo
<font color="red">The Uncles are red-faced and merry, as Grandma is sipping the sherry</font>
<font color="green">The hour's but quarter to seven, and biscuits are starting to leaven</font>
<font color="red">In the tree hangs a cat, quite canny, with tinsel streams from his fanny!
<font color="green">Held in my room I resist, for around my family I musn't exist</font>
<font color="red">Little John tugs the tree to get kitty, sending tinsel en l'air ('tis quite pretty)</font>
<font color="green">And the Christmas tree falls to the ground, sending little sparks all around</font>
<font color="red">Old Aunt Mary with her bad knee, one step, two, she trips over the tree</font>
<font color="green">And sweet Cousin Mini kissed big burly Moe, there they stand under the mistletoe...</font>
<font color="red">Hark, jolly big 'Ma sings merrily, for fallen Aunt & tree isn't sad tragedy!</font>
<font color="green">But there was a box squashed by the tree: a delicate present unfortunately...</font>
<font color="red">The clay owl statue lost its beak; alas, it was an antique.</font>
<font color="green">Pa walks past the tree and grabs a box from the coffee table which holds the rare, precious, unbreakable, identical, triplet-owl-statue from the nearby antique store.</font>
<font color="red">But alas, as good ol'Dad turns around, he falls over Aunt Mary tinsel tangled on the ground.</font>
<font color="green">A gasp escaped from everyone there; on the floor with the owl, Pa's toupee very near!</font>
<font color="red">Till Cousin Brun-Hilda shrieked, "a Rat!" while chucking her heirloom red cloche-hat</font>
<font color="green">And though it was toupee not rat, she struck it quite hard with a bat, and while we looked on, encouraged by song, the owl was purloined by the cat.
<font color="red">Woof! Peewee the dog jumped off the sofa, sniffed and snatched the toupee belongs to ol' Pa</font>
<font color="green">Oh No cried Dad and covered his head, the rest of his face had turned quite red.</font>
<font color="red">Peewee the dog ran out in a flash, burying the toupee with the rest of his stash.</font>
<font color="green">Falling snow on frosty lands, Reflected from the earth below</font>
<font color="red">Arose the fullness of helping hands, bringing joy from where ever they go.</font>
<font color="green">Through freezing ice and burning sand, hearts are bright and all algow.</font>
<font color="red">Young singer's ring Jingle Bells gladly, while chanting out loudly...
<font color="green">Carolers arrive, such a joyous sound, hark what have we here, a man digging up the ground.</font>
<font color="red">In a large hat, Dad mutters and digs, where has that f***ing dog put my wig?</font>
<font color="green">This man needs help, the ground's frozen hard, come on carolers, let's dig up the yard!</font>
<font color="red">The carolers scramble all over the snow, and then one yells "found it!" as she pulls from below...</font>
<font color="green">The carolers clapped and cheered. Then, look! jolly big 'Ma brought them some Christmas treats</font>
<font color="red">Peewee the dog came out of his hiding place behind the wall sheepishly as the carolers began to sing Deck the Halls gracefully</font>
<font color="green">Without noticing the toupe looked worse for wear. Dad plopped it back on his head and presto he had hair.</font>
<font color="red">The yard full of holes, hands like ice, come inside, said Dad, it's warm and nice.</font>
<font color="green">The room filled up with much chat and good cheer, the tree stood askew, the floor had been cleared.</font>
<font color="red">Ahh... well-now, we're ready then perchance, for music and a good-old square-dance?</font>
<font color="green">Square dance sweaty, some romantic winks, food and gifts and loads of drinks.</font>
<font color="red">Everyone danced well into the night, Dad did some breakdancing and gave gran a fright.</font>
<font color="green">After a headspin he was bald once again, but moved into a freeze with a big fat grin.</font>
<font color="red">Then Ma called him into the kitchen, whilst music still made its merry din.</font>
<font color="green">The Uncles on cue began to tease, what should they tell Santa, if you please...?</font>
<font color="red">The kids didn't know what to believe— Bells rang out! and they had to go see.</font>
<font color="green">Outside a figure (much like Pa's), but outfitted in red! It MUST be Santa Claus!!</font>