I have learned the most important thing in life is to put yourself first.

Not in the sense that you can never put somebody else before you, but that for the most part, you need to think about how something will affect you. Can you stand back from yourself, from the pressure put on you and think about what the end result will be?

If you're asked to stand out in the cold, are you going to do it? Or are you able to refuse because you know you'll be sick within the hour?

Sometimes, we meet people. People who we think will be our everything, whether it be a significant other, or a friend, even a family member. We think we know them. We think they would never do anything to hurt us.

And perhaps, it's not intentional.

But intentional hurt is still hurt.

And sometimes, that person becomes everything to us anyway. We would kill for them. They are all we want, all we think we need.

But after a while, we can feel that something is off. It may be a subtle feeling, or perhaps, it's one we won't admit to feeling. Suddenly, we feel ourselves searching for something else, but at the same time, we are hoping that 'something' belongs to them.

However, as time goes on, it becomes more and more difficult to deny the obvious.

This person is toxic.

What a difficult thing to admit to oneself.

But when you're in a relationship where everything you do is wrong because the other person says so, even if there is no reason for them to think that. Where you do something one way, and then try it another, and another, and it can still never be right.

When somebody toys with your emotion, manipulates you.

And you tell yourself, you're leaving.

For good.

But later, you find yourself coming back again.

And again, you find yourself with that pit in your stomach. You find yourself replaying every memory with this person over and over, and none of them seem to be good.

And you keep yourself in this loop. You tell yourself that forgiveness is key. That they'll be different this time. That they can't hurt you again.

Afterall, you have been bulding a resistance. You think your walls are strong enough to withstand anything they may throw at you.

So when you go back to them again, you go in thinking you're bullet proof, and yet, they know where each and every crack is located. They have built ladders to climb over the wall and dug tunnels to reach beneath it.

And there you are again, hurting and exposed with each action and each word they toss your way. You realize, that instead of growing stronger, you've grown weaker. Your knees buckle and you feel as if you're going to cry. You want to hide, but you have nowhere to go.

But eventually, you have to make a choice.

The hardest choice you will ever make.

You have to choose yourself. This is your life. Nobody else can control it. And so you steel yourself. You get ready for the epic battle you are about to cause. As you decide, this time, when I walk away, I am not coming back. And this time, you mean it.

And suddenly, everything floods from your lips, every word you left unsaid. Every feeling you had tucked away. And you tell them that you're gone. They laugh, reminding you of each and every time you came running back, or every time you begged them to stay. Because, after all, they owned you. They controlled you.

You take a deep breath and you turn and you walk away.

And in that moment, you know you have to prioritize yourself. You spent so long trying to please somebody who didn't give a crap about you. But now, you are going to give a crap about yourself.