Velcro

I wake up, with your breathe still blowing on my neck. You are him, but she is her. She wakes up next to me, but you were there in my dreams. My baby. Our baby, sat on my lap and smiled as I read to her. Now all I hear is the bleep bleep bleep of 6:30AM alarms.

I question everything. I feel unsettled down to my very bones. I feel tossed about like the ocean is allowed to have its way with me. Like I am just a paper cup afloat in rolling lunar waves. I don't know how to behave.

During the day I don't know which way to behave. Should I follow mind or heart? Should I go with the musings of my unconscious brain? Should I speak your name out loud?

Why is this happening now? I could glide into 30 with a marriage and two dogs and piece of mind. Instead I am a hot mess and I just want to be a piece of ass. I am never glad for what I have. I may never settle down.

Why are you always on my brain? Why are you so obviously exactly like me. We are kind, but hide behind a fog of our real flaws. We both lie about the details, but give everything else up for examination. I made the worst mistake.

I let my dreams consume me. I should be an arm's length away. My heart, it is Velcro and I've fucking gotten stuck. Now I'm still. I'm stagnant. Dreams of you set me alight. I will burn myself out, and away my light will go. My dreams will leave me burnt out, pitch black, alone. But I can't fucking drive away.