The Truth

My name is not Cosette Darner. It is a name that I go by to feel confident enough to speak. Why do I need this name? It's not because I hate my real name (I love my name), but it is so I can speak my mind and not have people know who I am in person. To me, Cosette Darner is freedom.

I am a depressed 17 year old who is able to talk more on the computer than in person. No one who knows me knows I have depression, and I dont tell them. Knowing how society works, people with depression get left behind. People see me as a smart, caring, strong, independent, and a happy female. I am a go-to for relationship problems, school work problem, and social problems even though I have plenty of my own. When I asked someone who considered me to be their friend why they come to me for help, they told because I always sound like I can relate. To this, I smile and tell them the secret is to be happy.

Just be happy...it is strange to me how this is the common answer given to someone who asks for help when it comes to depression. The amount of times I look in the mirror and think to myself "why can't you just be happy?" is too many to count. Society seems to have created a bubble around happiness to protect it from sadness. Because bubbles are blurry when seeing through them, we see anything negative as a joke. Something silly. Social media does this all of the time.

Depression is joked about all of the time on social media along with suicide, and to be honest, it is disturbing. Every time someone says that they want to "go kill myself" I get mad. People who use it as a joke anger me because they don't know that feeling. They dont know what it is like to stare into the mirror every morning wondering how the world would be better without you. How when we shower we see our imperfections and scars. The thing said that I hate the most, is when people say "go kill yourself."

Social media seems to fall on those three words when they dont like something or disagree. I just saw on facebook a picture of a man taking a knee during the anthem and someone replied with "go kill yourself." The way those three words enter our minds is different and that is what society doesn't quit get yet. People dont see how their words mean more to others than ourselves.

I would never post this on social media because social media doesnt care. They think they are happy in their world and I will not take their happiness away. You cant help those who dont want to be helped. If people still feel better changing their face to look "better" and body shaming themselves and others to feel "better" then there is nothing this post can do.