Journal Entry #1

Sometimes I feel so big, in a metaphorical sense. As if everything within my life is so magnified, the walls closing in on me. The pressure is almost too much. The feeling is so overwhelming, anxiety starts to swallow me whole. When I feel as though I’m this big, as if everything I do is under scrutiny, I take a step back and think about how I am merely a minuscule piece of the population. I am simply coexisting among millions of other people with lives as big as mine. There are millions of people feeling all different types of emotions, yet all just as intense as mine. Somehow, that feeling is so comforting. That even though there may be things happening in my life that feel detrimental, and are tearing me apart, there are others feeling the same as I do. More importantly, there are people who have felt this before and now live lives that are completely evolved. They too felt like they had reached the end, that they had reached the brink, and now have moved on. They’ve freed themselves from that feeling of impending doom. It forces me to realize there is so much I’ve put behind me and even more that is ahead of me. I can feel myself shrink and the pressure become alleviated. I’m like another car on a busy highway. Driving on my own among others, with people behind me and people in front of me. People by my side and people passing me. Simply coexisting.