Self-Consciousness

My deepest flaw is self-consciousness. It’s this visceral feeling of fear that someone may be judging me, or disagree with what I’m doing. My own self-consciousness has held me back from doing so many things in life. Only now, at the cusp of my 30th year on Earth, am I beginning to accept who I am, and feel like rejection won’t crush me. I am far behind where I am capable of being in life because of the doubt I hold in myself and my abilities. Writing these words, my hands shake in fear of the judgement that may come: is this piece of writing worthy to be seen by writers far better than me? So many times, I’ve discouraged myself into giving up or not trying at all because the outcome won’t be perfect, or someone will find error in my performance.

But, it’ll never be perfect. Not everyone will ever be a fan of anyone. The beauty of humanity is perspective, and our ability to decide our personal preferences. So, while I might throw up after I post this out of my fear that someone, somewhere, thinks this piece is garbage, I’m proud that I’ve done it. I hope that by facing my deepest flaw, I can grow to overcome it and live a life of lesser regrets and richer experiences.