Invasion

“What do you mean me?” Joseph asked.

“I mean they asked for you, Joseph Jerowitz. By name,” the man answered. He was stone faced and cold. His uniform sharp and crisp. There was an impressive number of medals along his chest. At least Joseph thought so. He didn’t really know what constituted as impressive as far as medals were concerned; but he assumed this would be.

“But why?” he followed

“Truthfully, I was hoping you could shed some light there.”

“I have no idea why!” Joseph exclaimed. He didn’t either. For all intents and purposes, Joseph was a regular kid. At the age of 17, he hadn’t accomplished much. He was middle of the pack in grades, and below that in popularity at school. He had truly done nothing remarkable with his life.

Why would they want me? he thought.

“Well, either way, you need to come with me.” The general responded.

“But wait, what do they want?”

“How should I know, we’re not really in a position to ask why,” and they weren’t. the invasion had been absolute. They were hopelessly outclassed and outgunned. After that first day, there were few casualties because most soldiers had simply surrendered after the initial confrontation.

Joseph reflected on that memory. They descended from the sky over every major city in the world. They made no demands, they just suddenly started obliterating the world’s seats of power. Supposedly there was still a resistance out there; but Joseph had neither the inclination to find it nor the resources.

“What do I say?” he asked.

“Whatever the hell they want to hear,” was the response.

Joseph stood with the general who had visited his home and followed him out the door. Waiting outside in the street was a military helicopter. Manned by several others who stared at him with stoic contemplation. They were just as confused as he was. Maybe even more so.

The flight passed with minimal conversation or event. Only enough to properly communicate the necessary operations of the flight by the crew. Roughly one hour later, they had arrived.

The ship was massive, even larger than he had thought was possible. It towered over the next largest building easily ten times the height, and longer than Joseph cared to consider.

Holy shit

They landed without incident and he was instructed to disembark alone. As Joseph stood there, below the massive ship, the panic started to set in.

What the fuck is happening

As if reacting to his thought, the ships hue changed from an eerie green to a soft blue. A ramp descended from seemingly no where and a doorway appeared at the top of it from similar origins. He hesitated at the bottom of the ramp. He knew he had to go in, but he was afraid; and rightfully so, this was an alien race that laid waste to the world’s power structure in a matter of days.

What have I gotten myself into? he wondered.

Again, as if reacting to the thought, the ramp began to illuminate with the same soft blue color. Lights flowing in sequence to suggest that he walk up the ramp. Joseph swallowed and began walking up the ramp.

It took him just over thirty minutes to ascend the ramp in its entirety. He took his time walking, more than once feeling his legs beginning to give out on him. Then suddenly, he was there. He was upon the event horizon that was the ship’s interior.

A whirring sound alarmed him from behind and he looked back to see the ramp rapidly retracting behind him. To stop himself from being caught on it, he quickly stepped inside the doorway before the ramp reached its end.

Standing inside the interior the door quickly shut behind him and he was left in darkness. Listening closely, Joseph heard strange sounds the like of which he had never heard before. He would have struggled to put them into words; but if he had been forced to, the word would have been squishes.

Suddenly bright lights illuminated the spot he was standing on beneath him and he jumped in surprise. A voice boomed from all around, while appearing to originate inside of his own head.

“YOU ARE JOSEPH JEROWITZ?” it demanded.

What the hell? he thought.

“JOSEPH JEROWITZ IS YOUR NAME, YES?” the voice demanded in response to the thought.

“Yes,” he answered, more meekly than he would have liked to.

“YOU ARE ALSO THE REDDIT USER KNOWN AS SPARKY400HZ?” it asked.

How in the hell? he thought again.

“OUR RESOURCES ARE VASTER THAN YOUR PATHETIC INTERNET!” the voice boomed in fury.

“…Yeah, that’s my username,” Joseph said.

The light went out without warning. Joseph was filled with dread at the sudden darkness. As suddenly as the light below him had went out, other lights illuminated around the room. The most curious thing he had ever seen greeted him.

As he examined each small circle of light, it illuminated a different cat. At least, that’s what they appeared to be. Different colors, and breeds all sat stoically atop their light. The middle ‘cat’ was an orange cat that stared deep into his eyes and began to slowly walk towards him. As it walked the light followed its path.

The voice spoke again in his head. Joseph noticed that as it spoke none of the cats mouths moved; but he got the distinct feeling that this cat was where it had originated from.

“YOUR PATRONAGE HAS SUMMONED US HERE. WHILE MANY USER APPRECIATED OUR SPECIES, YOU STAND OUT AMONG THEM WITH YOUR EXCESSIVE POSTING OF OUR PICTURES AND VIDEOS. AS WELL YOUR LOVE OF ALL THINGS CAT,” the cat projected into his head. It continued, “MASTER, YOUR ARMY IS ASSEMBLED, AND WE AWAIT YOUR ORDERS.”

Jacob’s world felt like it fell from beneath him. What on earth would he do with an army of alien cats that appreciated his life, or lack-thereof.