It’s funny how

at night after all the

emotions I keep suppressed inside

leak out through my eyes

silently,

as my shoulders shake

I’m left feeling empty

and numb

not a bad numb and empty

not a good empty and numb

but unfeeling in a way

that lets me wake up

and be able to plaster on a smile

and make jokes

that aren’t really jokes

but silent cries

for help