Ambush

Out of the blue? No. 'Out of the Twilight Zone' would be a more fitting description. It had been years (five, to be exact), since I'd heard from him.

Our relationship had been a very serious one. We'd started dating when I was only 18. He was 27 and divorced. In spite of the age difference and his failed marriage, my parents loved him. Now that I'm older and a parent myself, I have to wonder what they were thinking. But that's a story for another time.

Anywho, I got a phone call, late on a Sunday night. It was from him. I was living in Brooklyn, he in Jacksonville, FL. He said he'd been thinking of me, and missed me. He was sorry about the way things had ended between us, and often wished it had been different. Then he told me that a ticket was waiting for me at the Continental Airlines ticket counter in LaGuardia airport. The flight would leave early the next morning. If I was willing to come, there would be no strings attached. It would just be a weeklong reunion, of sorts. "And," he said, "his parents would love to see me again."

When someone calls you from out of nowhere and gives you only minutes to make a major decision, you have to say no. Unless you're me. I said, "Yes."

I threw a bunch of clothes in a bag, ran to the ATM for some cash, and called a car service to arrange a pick-up. All the while, I managed to avoid the internal conversation my brain was trying to initiate with me. Then I called Annie.

Annie and I were co-workers and I wanted her to let everyone know I'd be out of town for the week. She predicted that I'd never go and never come back. Frankly, she more excited about the adventure than I was. I hadn't really had any time to think about it.

So I went. And when I got there, this man from my past, someone I didn't really know anymore, ushered me into his new apartment, where his parents were waiting. After a round of "It's so good to see you," and "My god, don't you look wonderful," his mother showed me around. The apartment was enormous.

"It's so big," I observed.

"Isn't it beautiful?" his mother chirped in her adorable southern accent. "Just perfect for a wife and children, don't you think?"

Huh?!

It was the strangest experience of my life...like walking into an intervention where the goal was to cure me of my singlehood. Or an Amway ambush, trying to sell me marriage and children instead of vitamins and floor polish.

But here's the weirdest part: I stayed. I stayed for the whole week, even though I was so uncomfortable. Why? Anything beats working.