Toilet Tears
To Mindy, the invasion coming through the high school girl’s room door felt as violent as a terrorist entering holding an AR 15, even before she recognized the familiar voice behind the intrusion. She thought, “A terrorist would work better for me than those two right now.” Surely death would solve her angst.
Already hiding in the bathroom to avoid seeing them in the hall, the outburst of laughter coming from Angela and Terry sliced at her brokenness. With her arch nemeses within breathing distance she played possum, as a matter of life and death loomed over her consciousness. Fear consumed all the matter in her brain spilling over onto the metal stall, the ivory commode and even the rough commercial toilet paper. It rose in her throat choking her and at least her vocal cord paralysis was companionable with her quest for total silence. It was the second time that day she hid in the bathroom to avoid seeing them in the hall.
Thankfully, it was only twice a day that their classes put them in the same hallway. How many tears had she shed since she moved to this God forsaken town in third grade? In every grade there was a bully that placed her on their hit list.
“What am I doing wrong?” She asked her mother and her big sister time and time again.
“Fight back.” They’d always respond. She couldn’t. She didn’t know how to fight back. It was not her nature and she felt she must be somewhat deserving of their wrath. What other explanation could there be? So she went through each school day year after year struggling to hide the growing layer of internal scars, not making many friends, while doing everything she could to avoid a confrontation.
While both girls looked in the mirror applying lip gloss, Angela starting talking shade first.
“Dat f’n ratchet thot. I can’t even. Did you see her walk right past Kenny with dat tight skirt before? I told dat basic bitch I’d cut her if she ever goes near him. Did you see how scared she looked? That’s because she knows I’d do it and we’ll see what she looks like when I’m finished wit her.”
Terry hangs on her words like a cultist and repeats back almost verbatim, “Yeah….., f’n thot…., Kenny looked…., tight ass skirt….., cut dat scared basic bitch up.
“Swerve! What did you say? Kenny looked? Did you see him look at dat thot? Angela seethes.
“Well that’s what guys do, right? They can’t help it especially with eye candy like Mindy.”
Still paralyzed, Mindy wishes she could flush herself down the toilet. There is no other exit plan for her so she tries to focus on the hope that they leave without realizing only a few feet and a metal door is separating them.
“Girl….what did you say? Eye candy? Shit. I’d spit out that piece of candy. She’s nasty!”
“YAAAASS! You’re right. You’re right. I was just messin wit ya. She’s nothing to look at.”
“He better not be checking her out if he thinks he’s gonna get wit this piece of ass again,” Angela bends over and spanks her ass. “Let’s get out of here so I can find Kenny before he leaves for football practice.”
“I thought we came in here to have a smoke before cheerleading practice?” Terry lifts her peace sign fingers to her mouth and inhales.
“Forget about that now. Kenny has got to see my fine ass so he can know where to keep his damn eyes.”
When Mindy hears them exit, the silence comforts her as it always does. She’s so familiar with this stall. She knows exactly how to pull the toilet paper without it snagging on the ancient roller. With shaky hands, she cautiously rips a few pieces, wipes her tears, blows her nose and wonders how she will get through the next school day.