Dialogue

"I don't know what the fuck is up with my dad," he said.

"I'm sorry," she replied.

"I think he's having an affair."

Silence.

"I'm so sick of being around my family," he concluded. "I just need to get out. I don't even really live there, anyways, I'm just there, you know?"

"Yeah, I really don't live in my house either," she mused. "It's my parents' house, not mine."

"Exactly. I don't even like any of them. I don't respect them, I don't like them, and they feel the same about me."

"I've come to terms with them."

"I thought I had come to terms with them, but now I'm dealing with this bullshit and it's just making me realize how little I actually matter in that house. That surgery my niece had? I didn't even know until yesterday."

"My whole family is kind of like that. Not really knowing or caring what's going on with anyone else. We all live divided under one household."

"Fuck them all."

"I dunno, I kind of respect my mom, you know? She has a rough, emotionally tolling job, and even though I can see how exhausting it is for her, I admire her. She deals with people who are truly fucked up, you know? Not just people who act like they're fucked up, but children and victims who have real problems. My step-dad, on the other-hand, I don't get."

"What'd you mean?"

"He goes out for two hours a day, takes some photos, comes home and sits on his ass photo-shopping all day, and then claims he's exhausted. The life of a free-lance photographer. But shit, it's like he runs the whole household even though he really doesn't do anything. His OCD just dominates. You know our washer and dryer? I can't even use specific settings on those because he taped over all of the options and wrote "NO" on the ones that use too much water. And when he goes out of town he tapes all of the lights that need to remain on the entire time so the house looks "occupied" and his camera equipment won't be stolen. If they come home and I've turned one of the lights off it's as if I've committed some heinous crime."

"Yeah, dude. I dunno, we just deal with the same bullshit."

"Yeah, we do."

Silence.

"I'm not really satisfied with any of my relationships. All of them have just become so shallow, especially at school. Just all a bunch of fake friendships based on connections."

She pondered this for a second, thinking surely he didn't mean their relationship, as well, and replied, "I dunno what we expected going into college. I dunno what I expected, especially. I really haven't gained any new, notable relationships. Not even from the group I went to Italy with."

"That must have sucked."

"I didn't really mind. I like being alone, you know. I thought I was being smart by not 'clique-ing' myself like everyone else did and try to have an experience with everyone, and it worked to an extent, but people still turned on me and made assumptions about who I am. What else is new?"

"Yeah, there's really no winning with people."

"I thought I had made some good friends there, even the group of kids the adults called the 'frat kids' - "

"Aw, fuck them. Fuck that. They're all just shallow fucks and you know it."

"I know it now, but then they actually made me feel accepted. I went to dinner with them one night, and one of the girls actually said, 'You know, it's really cool you decided to come with us,' and I believed them."

"What happened?"

"I went off with them on our last day in Rome to eat lunch before we went to the Vatican. Around the walls of the Vatican, there are museum guides asking tourists if they intend to go into the city, and giving out directions. One of those men approached us on our way to a Turkish kabop stand, and one of the boys in my group said, 'Hell no, I'm not going into that place, I got excommunicated years ago!'

Saying 'excommunicate' next to Vatican City is like saying 'bomb' in an airport. The museum guys got pissed and started cussing us out, calling us 'fucking wanker-Kentuckians.' I didn't really know what to do, but I was as offended as they were, so I asked the group to be a little bit more aware of how serious and sensitive that area is about their religion."

"They won't listen to you."

"I know that now, I didn't know that then. Right after I said it, they all ganged up on me and said it was my problem I let the cussing get to me, not theirs. I thought they'd understand."

"You shouldn't have."

"I get that, but I did. I'm so different. Why am I so different? Why is it that when I say or do something, it's always rejected immediately?"

"Because that's just how we are. It's better this way."

"Is it?"

She choked up, and looked out the car window.

"Fuck this," he said. "We're much too sober."

And with that, she loaded a bowl and passed the lighter.