Seconds (untold true story)

You couldn’t tell whether it was the shower or the tears. I couldn’t help but think… who lied? He said he would never hurt me, and I said “I will never leave you.” It all started because of that kiss, it was unexpected and yet still full of passion. The next day we were official, June 18th, the hottest couple. I had my doubts about whether he was bisexual or not, but I thought that was crazy and why was I trying to ruin what I had.

It was a long time into the relationship (at least a long time for highschool relationships). I'll never forget it, my brother comes and burst open my door "I have to tell you something and trust me you won't like it." I looked at him as if he was crazy, well the next words shattered my heart "Jack (not his real name), he tried to kiss me" I sat there and we talked for a while. They were wrestling like boys do and he tried to kiss my brother. It was about 3 weeks before prom and I didn't want to hurt him so I acted like I knew nothing and then after I'll find some way to have him break up with me, so he isn't hurt. Soon everyone found out about him trying to kiss my brother, small town problems. He didn't want to live, but he didn't want to die by his own hand. He wanted one of the people he loved to kill him, me or my brother to do it, so one night he pulled out a knife from that ugly sweatshirt. Striped with orange, red, black, brown, grey, and more... like the rainbows ugly step sister. He tried to force me to kill him. It didn't feel real for a moment almost like a movie, me sitting on top of him prying the knife out of his hand. He threw me off and I grabbed the knife and ran, somehow we ended in the same position both trying to to win, but we each had different rewards, attempted murder, him finally free from judgement. In the moment I felt nothing, not even the knife cutting me, during the fight. My reward the sadness of what happened, sitting on top of the stairs crying... I just covered my eyes I didn't even notice the red on my arm and on my cheek just like blush. I didn't know what to do or how to go about after it all. I was 15 at the time and I have never forgotten about it. I still have the scar and the memory. At that age I already went through hell (my old school, thats a whole story in itself... "The glory days"... coming soon) I knew what it was like to be in such a bad head space, but I never thought that someone would be that close to really ending it all.