You Hit the Breaks

I don’t understand, why did you give up so easily on us? In the beginning of it all I was so skeptical. I asked if this was a waste of time, if this would work out. You assured me countless times that you wanted me, wanted to be with me. For awhile I didn’t let myself fully into your arms, because something was telling me that it wasn’t going to work. Yet I ignored my instincts and all the signs. I fell so fucking hard for you as you started to stand back up from falling for me.

It ended so fast. We were driving at the speed of 80 miles per hour when you slammed the breaks. Then I opened the door as you started to drive again, only 10 miles per hour.

You asked to be friends, I said I couldn’t, because I want you more than as a friend. Then only a day went by without talking to you, and I couldn’t handle it. I cried so hard and couldn’t sleep.

Then I realized, I had to fight. If you want something in life, you have to give it your all, no matter what. So I texted you. I do not regret that.

You said that you can’t not be friends with me, that you can’t let go of someone you talk to non stop. I called you. You were crying. You said you lost most of the feelings, but you cried over me. Your friends told me you were really into me, then suddenly it stops? That doesn’t happen. It’s not normal. Is it?

Yesterday I said I wanted to be friends. Because I can’t not talk to you. It destroys me. And maybe, just maybe, I’m stupid with this hope that someday we’ll make it. It’ll be the right time for both of us. Right now, however, I realize, that we both are not ready for each other. As sad as it is, it’s true.

I can’t let you go quite yet, and I hope you can’t let me go, either. Man, the heart is stupid. Love is a wicked game to play.