The Untold Story: Anorexia (Part 3)

If you’re struggling from anorexia, you’re probably really scared that someone will find out what’s going on. I was, too. I was scared they would force me to eat, tell me I was stupid, and make me stop. I think I wanted them to make me stop, but at the same time, I didn’t.

The one piece of advice I have for anyone--not just those who are anorexic or bulimic: that loving your body is all about building it stronger, not tearing it down.

Eating so little that you feel foggy and weak all the time isn’t building your body up; and stuffing your face with unhealthy food every chance you get isn’t either. And when you’ve already gone to these extreme ends of the spectrum, it can be really hard to come back.

Trust me, I know.

I never really told anyone what was going. I was too scared of their responses. That wasn’t one of my smarter decisions, because it made the following weeks and months a huge struggle, with no one to lean on. But my first step was to stop exercising (and I use that as a nice term for what I was doing to my body) so much. Every time I ate something, I felt guiltly. Even if it was something as healthy as a piece of fruit or cheese. All of my spare time was spent “working it off.”

It was too much emotional and physical strain on my body, and I had to stop. I got down to working out once a day, five days a week. Of course, my diet was still a mess, but this was a step in the right direction.

Eventually, I stopped doing so much cardio, and moved to weight lifting. Maybe you’ve heard other people who’s stories are sort of similar to this. And this may sound cliche or fake, but it’s true: weightlifting changed the way I viewed my body.

I was building it up, making it stronger. Somehow, this made me feel mentally stronger and more confident about myself. I also found it so much more fun. Because I wanted to build my body stronger, I came to the realization that I needed to be eating to provide for the muscle growth.

It was hard, forcing myself to eat more than I usually did. But I don’t regret doing it at all.

Another thing I had to do was change my mindset. There aren’t “good” foods and “bad” foods. (Obviously, some are healthier than others). It’s not the foods themselves that are bad, it’s the amounts you eat.

Sorry if I rambled, I just had to get this out there.