Pondering on wonders

In life I have often wondered,

What would it be like for me

If i've chosen the bumpy and rocky road

Would I be satisfied and content?

If I tried to be the captain of my ship

Instead of being a voyager

Will it make a difference?

Would I be happy where the tides take me?

If i have let the wind take me

Instead of having someone control the sails

Will i find peace with every decision i make?

I have ridden the ship

And let the captain take its course

I let them control the sails

And let their wind take its course

I know where the journey would take me

And I'm not happy

Nor am i sad

All my life i have chosen the safe road

The flowery path

The suns and rainbows

I am neither content nor satisfied

Does this make me weak?

Does my situation seem bleak?

If i ever did change

What difference would it make?

Because reality is

In this life survival is the key

I have a job

A house

I can live

I can survive

I know I have everything,

But why do i feel like i have nothing?