Letter to my EX

There is a certain girl I love in the city of Abuja. In this crowded city she’s the needle in the haystack. My love for her accrued from my pith up on the day of Astarte arôme. I held her hand as we jolted through the park like #love birds that had just discovered sex. My eyes turning to the side in adoration of #angel galloping next to me. Her hair pretty like sundew on a Ghana dawn. A basking of affection angered for its form had not yet evolved into #matrimony. This was day 26 of this glorious ballad for lack of better words to describe a relationship that had us running from everyone else that shrove to keep us apart. We were not fit for each other and both families know it. Her father called me a wannabe and her mother always thought I was on a fast track to extinction. I shoved off their misconceptions and here she stood, with me, and I believed it could be to the end. Her parents were primitive but those minds make the best wisdom. Business wasn’t #blossoming as we expected, motivation was low and inflation was on an all-time high. She knows what I do and she’s good with it. Sometimes my father says she’s stupidly in love because he didn’t believe any female could take me serious. I feed him though, because he’s my dad.

She’s sitting on a concrete slab as climbing grass caress her bottom half, she’s laughing at my jokes. I’m not that funny but she loves to make me feel good. My friends find no interest in her because they find her easy to please, but they have not laid with her. I’m surprised she chose me, Onowu would be better, his father runs an empire. We are not afraid to hold hands in public so we do it often, damning the consequences. She leans over and tells me the colour of her underwear, teaser. Her sweet nectar drenches my atman with holy water. In this treacherous road she has been my pathfinder. I speak of baboonish words when I try to describe her affections because it’s a double-edged sword. In this city I live in with no job, I can leave on my own accord yet she keeps me. Her sisters said the daintiest things about me but she hushes them like ‘Big Mama’s met her perfect match’. This might just be youthful exuberance but the next words that came out from within me weren’t.

“Do you love me?” My heart throbbed just thinking of the answer her fragile heart was going to bellow. She smiled, something she did a lot. I think it’s just an impression to keep all the insults in.

Today I want to know how she feels because all I have given her was cheap thrills. She was still here and that should have been enough but I’ve met ‘karashika’ before and I drew a circle around la femme for a while. She stood up, did a spin and sat back down but now you can almost guess the expression on my spotless portrait. My mind was restless and a thousand images began to flash through my eyes. She moves closer and now I could smell her true aura. By now my nose was engaged in slow whine with malt liquor. She always drank spirits, this was a new girl. I put my hand around her wide hips and shoved her up, she held me even closer. The intoxicating stench was overwhelming and I was bound for disgust. She then leaned over to steal a kiss and I shrugged.

This was the girl I dare to say, I loved.

Her heft started to weigh on me and she felt like a bag of cement, the girl I knew was a size three.

She caught me on my left cheekbone and I blurted. No telling where she had been but I hated malt liquor. My hands were holding her tight for fear I might lose her.

This was the girl I loved.

I wanted to pop the question but now she would never know. She drew away for a split second and began to giggle, heads were begin to turn to our direction. Her beautiful tenor was shrinking my ego to the minimalist form. I startled away from scene and she followed, hands stretched out as if she wouldn’t let go. I held her once more for fear she might freak. She leaned on my broad shoulders as I called a taxi. I put her in and followed with a shut of the door, “Just keep driving”. Leaning into my utility pack I found a sharp razor. She was snoring and I was agitated. I drew her head back to expose a neck vein and slit it. Blood poured more than in the movies, I thought. I found a handkerchief in her bag that I used to clean my hands. The taxi was an Uber so the driver didn’t see it. I stopped the car abruptly and paid him the fare.

This was the girl I loved but by the aura she had ploughed with another lover.

What broke my heart? Like every girl I have been with, they always ended up sleeping with my best friend. I have problems and even as I drift into the night, I know someday I will account for my decisions.