The Answer

How far back do I go I ponder.

Back to the womb when I was safe and warm in my mothers belly.

To my first steps clumsy on fawn like legs not yet used to holding up my own weight.

Perhaps to that night when everything fell apart.

Or maybe a happier time when I was hopeful and believed that anything was possible.

I trace the gold filigree pattern on the front of the watch.

Open the case to check the time and close my eyes.

Unexpectedly the watch slips from my fingertips.

Falling onto the cement.

A shiny black loafer steps on it.

No I shout but no one is paying attention.

The watch now in two halves.

I hold the pieces together in my hand and twist the knob.

Nothing happens.

The decision it seems has been made for me.