The Monster of Anorexia

Check out the video I made for this poem here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STdIENLRygM&feature=youtu.be

Anorexia’s not supposed to happen to you!

You watch other people waste away to die

And you’re helpless to stop it, not knowing what to do.

But when it happens to you, you’re horrified.

I used to think it would never happen to me

But I started believing the scale and my heart,

Both of which told me, I was fat, told me I needed to change me.

I didn’t want to listen, but I couldn’t help but follow into the dark.

Anorexia is hell! And yet I couldn’t stop!

I wanted to be strong, and I was strong when I didn’t eat.

People complimented me, my body, not just my shoes or top.

Giddy happiness--or was it hunger?--would fill me as I took my seat.

The health teacher taught about disorders

Speaking on anorexia, and I thought, That’s me!

But I can control it! I’ve got it all in order!

In reality, I just couldn’t see what other people could see.

Because anorexia isn’t something you control!

It takes over your life, it becomes your life!

And it doesn’t work towards your goal

Of being beautiful; it kills, slashing and cutting like a knife

Until there is nothing left of who you used to be

And you want help, you want it to go away

But I didn’t ask for help, scared of how people would look at me

Or what they’d do, or what they’d say.

And it’s this fear that makes you hide it day by day,

Drowning in your sorrow and a sort of guilty gladness

As your body shrinks and wastes away. . .

You should be happy! But all that’s left is emptiness.

I want you to stop, think long and hard--

If you don’t want to die, please, please get help!

Talk to someone! Don’t let anorexia be your prison and your guard.

That used to be me, but I was tired of being eaten

Alive, from the inside out, until I was consumed.

I’m never going down that road again

No matter how "fat" I become or what clothes I can't fit in

And I'll eat when I'm hungry, not feeling like it's a sin.

I'm not going to starve until I become numb

Anorexia is not unbeatable, but you can be.

Understand that you are not alone. . .

Don't stay in this place--get away, get help!