If Only

If I'd known the truth I would not be here now.

I would not be englufed by the smell of cheap flowers and peaches.

If only I had seen the color in your eyes, no longer present

while you lie. Motionless.

I look down at you and remember the yellow warmth you brought,

the yellow we all missed.

If I had known I would not have cared about the dreams that cease to exist.

Without you they are not worth my time.

If only I'd known the lies you told that ended with you here,

ready for the ground to hold the rest of all your fears.