Depression

My mouth is sewn shut as people ask "Are you alright?"

"Is everything okay?"

I can only nod as they pass by and act concerned. If they really cared, they'd be able to see I'm not. This isn't fair to them, but my brain plays this thought on a continuous loop until I almost believe it.

"Are you sure?"

Why won't these stitches come out? My head is stuck in an endless motion of nodding up and down. The muscles nessecary to shake it it from side to side are long gone, ripped from my body the second I set foot somewhere with other people. My face is involuntarily pulled into a smile. Why? I don't wan't to smile. They walk off, reassured of my wellbeing.

I want to scream and yell I'm not okay! Please, help me. but the stitches pull tight across my mouth and keep the screams inside. The only way to speak is to write, as the numbness and inability to move has yet to reach my hands. I suppose I should be happy about this, I can say what's on my mind. But, emotions were the first to go. Before the ability to say I'm not okay, before the ability to ask for help. I thought it was all gone. Maybe it is. But maybe, just maybe, it's not. If that's the case, maybe I'll be able to talk again. Maybe I won't even need to because there will be nothing bad to talk about. But, for now, I guess I'll keep writing. Who knows? Maybe it'll help.