You’re always so happy

Everyone’s fighting something.

That happy-go-lucky guy at the office chokes down a handful of pills everyday so he won’t kill himself.

That successful, has-it-all-together, fit woman at the office can’t eat without suffering debilitating pain and spends her night curled up in bed.

That loving grand-mother in the park has spent her life overcoming nightly visits as a child from her own grand-father.

One of those basketball players on the court just there sits in a hospital ward 3 times a week for dialysis, and another lost her father at the age of 3

Everyone is fighting something.

Every life has a story we will never get to read.

Yeah, sometimes that person is just an asshole, but sometimes its just how those hidden stories bleed.

When we’re young we wait for the great healing event that will fix all our pain. The myth of after.

Time heals all.

Wait until you get a bit older.

Once you get out of school.

When you’re an adult.

But the pain endures. Time deadens but doesn’t heal shit. That’s not something that happens, that’s something we have to go and get. It ain’t coming to us on its own.

But we hang on to that concept like a thirsty man to a dirty water bottle. We await the great event as they continue to pass without our pain even slowing down.

Once I find my soulmate.

After I get that promotion.

Once I earn a hundred K.

Once I’m a writer.

If I only had that car, that woman, that house, that look - those fucking abs.

Even then, we’re all fighting something.

But the pain endures. Time deadens but doesn’t heal shit. That’s not something that happens, that’s something we have to go and get. It ain’t coming to us on its own.

“You’re always so happy whenever I see you around here,” she said. And I smiled and laughed with her.

“Yeah,” I added, “it sure seems that way.”