Backstage Mayhem

People trickle into the large auditorium, finding their velvet seats. I furrow my brow, not seeing the person I’m looking for. “Ten minutes till showtime!” a voice booms from somewhere behind me. Everyone starts scuttering frantically. I start to sweat, hoping not to ruin my make up before the show. The make up artists brush wildly at the cheeks of actors and actresses as costumes are shoved on. A man putting on a sweater gets stuck in the itchy garment. He trips over the wavy dress of an actress holding a glass of water, which splashes all over him. He knocks into a make up table, shattering one of the small spherical white lights lining the vanity mirror. It makes contact with where the water spilled and sparks fly. The shoulder of the sweater catches fire, threatening to spread as he wobbles around in circles. People are running, grabbing cups of water, trying to pour it on the sweater. No water extinguishes the flame. Most of it ends up on the floor, causing people who are coming over to the man with more water, to slip. The man barrels through the crowd, making people dive out of the way. He stumbles, and falls into the snack table.

“NOOO!!! MY FOOD!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? GET AWAY FROM MY BEAUTIFUL, DELICIOUS, AMAZING FOOD!!!” screams a squat, chubby woman wearing a white apron. She shoves people out of the way and dives towards him, but

she misses. Instead, she lands on the table, breaking it in half. Scones, muffins, tarts, fruits, and other snacks go flying in to the air. I’m paralyzed in shock. At the same time, the guy in the sweater sneezes and stumbles backwards, setting the dress of an actress on fire. It spread to other dresses, until twenty women are jumping around in dresses of fire. The fire makes them dance around, as though they are performing. The food flies through the crowd of the girls wearing dresses of fire, also catching fire. It was as if mini meteors were flying through the air. They land everywhere. One lands on the sleeve of a bald man wearing black, who starts to wave his arms around wildly. A female up on the rafters who doesn’t know what is going on takes this as her cue. She jumps and glides through the air, the rope cord keeping her from falling waving behind her. Her black cape billows out from behind her, revealing her black tights and matching black long sleeved shirt. She screams in horror as she sees what is happening. Her vampire teeth could be seen and her black mascara almost hid her eyes. The purple colored blush like a swollen cheek is smeared. A scone landed perfectly on her back and she swings forward. It rolls off her back, leaving a path of fire. It lands near the foot of a man in black who is controlling the curtains. At the same time, the girl who had jumped from the ceiling had knocked down a few paint cans, one landing on someone’s head and knocking him unconsious while paint splattered on the backs of many actors and actresses. Everyone spun around and started screaming, “YOU!” and “DID YOU JUST SPLATTER PAINT ALL OVER ME?” People start throwing paint like snowballs and fist fighting each other. The snack lady had managed to get up and chase around the man in the sweater, who didn’t know where he was going. The ball of fire surpised the curtain man and he jumps. The man trips and gets his foot stuck in the ropes. It lifts him off the ground and with him, the curtain. Just before the curtain leaves the ground, a flaming muffin rolls into the curtain’s edges, burning it. As the curtain goes up, the audience stops talking and laughing. They just stare at the people backstage who hadn’t noticed. There was a man wearing a burning sweater running around being chased by an angry woman, people throwing paint at each other, girls dancing in flaming dresses, a girl on fire swinging around in the air, a man dangling by his foot in the air, people slipping on water, and a burning curtain. I couldn’t move. It was backstage mayhem.