Best friend

I watched her every night.

Sure, creepy, I know. But I can't help it. She was just so beautiful, with the small smile she has after receiving a nice text or a funny Instagram video. The way she lets out a short, gasping laugh, sometimes like a dying whale, sometimes like a hungry guinea pig. It depended on her mood from that day and the hilariousness meter of whatever she saw. Either way, it was cute and everytime she squealed, I fell in love even more.

I've been by her side through it all. She would cry to me about pigtails and bullies when she was little, and she would cry to me about haircuts and boyfriends as she grew. The way her blue eyes, speckled with traces of green, would dart back and forth as she grew more passionate in her story, I loved. I saw the universe in those eyes. They were gorgeous, just like her. So much better than my black eyes.

Another thing I loved was her hair. Long, flowing, and black, it was a river, filled with the events of the day, from twigs to bugs to paint. She loved to paint. Her room was covered in canvases and canvases. Her first self portrait from when she was 5 catches my eye each time-- the too rough shading, the alien looking eyes, and the stringy hair. As I look at the roaring oceans and pink, flushed cherry blossoms, I can't help but be amazed at her growth. She could do anything she wanted to.

She called me her best friend. The first time, she was about 3. She hugged me roughly, pulling at my arms, and gave me the toothiest grin, screeching, "I love you! You're going to be my best friend, forever."

And I was.

As the years continued, I'd sit by her and listen. I'd listen when she'd sing and I felt myself falling in love with the music she'd produce. I'd listen when she came home crying about grades. I'd listen when she had no one else to turn to. I'd listen when she was just simply bored. I had never complained about listening.

My universe. The earth was eclipsed into darkness and I was could no longer see. That was the last time I'd ever see her. The moment that box closed over my head and stopped moving, I knew that that was the last time.

"Let's go. Off to college with you!" I could hear the muffled, cheery voices from within my confinement. I was frozen. She was leaving me and I couldn't do anything about it.

Not even a goodbye as she packaged away her old life. I was roughly shoved into a box with a Barbie doll and old paintbrushes. Something sharp poked into my back. I saw a spider crawl through a small opening at the top.

There I was. A part of her other trash. I had felt her slipping away for a while too. No longer her best friend, just discarded. Thrown away. Abandoned. Not enough room in her life for inanimate objects, when breathing, living male best friends are available.

Alas, that is the life of a teddy bear. I consoled myself, imaging I was forever flowing in her hair, wrapped around me like a warm blanket, as I closed my eyes to sleep.

This hibernation will be a long one.