Such A Girl

I heard two men today in my place of work, engaging in a little bit of friendly competition. They're both nice guys. One says to the other, "You're such a girl," as if that's the most insulting thing he could come up with. I think to myself, why is that an insult? Why does my gender, a fighting, warrior gender stand for weakness? I also think, it's only my fourth day here. Better keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't want them to think I'm a...Feminist.

Men want to be "manly", but what does that mean? Is to be a man to have big muscles and lots of hair? Hardly.

I was raised to think that a pussy was someone cowardly, weak, fearful. When really, a vagina is an incredibly strong muscle, and if it weren't for the vagina, no human would exist.

I was raised to not talk back, to think that my beauty was worth more than my brains, to think that men were the only ones with words that mattered.

My dad said he was the head of the household. My mom was the "second boss". And once when we were walking home in the dark, two men yelled at her and said, "Nice ass, bitch!"

My mom worked full time, and actually made more money than my dad, but when she bought something that was too expensive with her own money, we had to hide it from him because he'd get mad.

When my mom divorced him, he said it was only because she "made bad decisions". He doubts her thinking processes and has told me he hates women. When he is raising two daughters.

I was talking to my dad about misogyny today. I started to get a little passionate. He said, "You're not going to cry, are you?" With disgust in his voice. As if crying is a disgusting, horrible thing that should never be done.

I was taught by him to never change for anyone, but apparently my emotions are a character flaw. My gender is something awful and inferior. I'm apparently lesser for having a vagina.