I always wanted to be a mannequin.

Years in and out of hospitals and clinics for anorexia and bulimia had me aware that I always wanted to be perfect, in someway.

After loss, pain, heartbreak, unbearable clinical depression, suicidal ideations, and irreparable damage I have found that it is true that I always wanted to be a mannequin but not for my body—I wanted to have absolutely nothing inside, have no ability to feel inside and out, I wanted to be a mannequin for the sake of my soul.