expect
there’s little in the way of culture on the small island
but what it lacks in big city pizzazz
it makes up for in nature
as the crashing waves break against soft white sands
the families are all high-enders of course
and I'm just here
a freeloader in their eyes
a bum who doesn't go to the same gym as them
I still have my friends
like now, hanging out around the fire
as cold air blows in from the north
and lands against the pitch black gulf
in proper form
I tell them stories of my travels
but at the same time
I soak up their presence as well
the dark blue and black flannel
light washed denim torn in the right places
anklets sparkling like the embers in the fire
and soft blue eyes beneath waves of midnight colored hair
soft smiles appear as I near the end of my story
there some chuckles
some whispers
and soft kisses
I feel happy as my story ends
and everyone gets up to leave
calling it a night
half drunk, half not drunk
I say I'm going to stay for a minute
before I head back to the house I'm staying in
and everyone leaves
accept for him and his soft blue eyes
he gets up to come sit next to me
he tells me he liked my story
I say thanks and we are silent
for as long as we can be
before he leans in
and I back up, unprepared
he stops, eyes half-closed
and we just stare at each other for a minute
"so then, you don't like guys"
"no, that's not it"
"then what's wrong?"
"I don't know"
and I tell him
about how every stop I make
every time I decide to stay
someone falls for me
and I'm not sure I can keep doing it
because I believe that love
or at least, part of the entire concept,
is your dedication to someone
and I can't keep loving
not without knowing
that I can dedicate my heart
to the one who loves me
"but not everyone needs that"
he says, "but if you find that you do,
why do you keep moving?"
and he leans next to me
I place an arm around his shoulders
pull him close and say,
"I don't know, I guess I just never expected this to happen."
"what did you expect to happen?"
and that's just it, because I didn't expect