Don’t act cold and then warm.

Dear cold unpredictable person,

I don’t think you understand how people look upon you. Your coldness, your lack of care is astounding, despite your claims of love towards another. Your lips say one and your actions point a different implication. With all due honesty, you’re a liar.

You’re warm at one point and then cold on the other. You give false hopes and expectation and rip those away with callous and cruel acts. You think that your callous and cruel acts taught us well, give us the tools in life.

You’re wrong. It made us cold and unable to handle the warmth, because we are taught that warmth are dangerous. It’s as dangerous as the cold but at least the cold isn’t easy to indulge in. The warmth is, and when it’s taken out of a sudden, it feels like a cheat, a lie.

And I hate lies. And you decorate these around in my life, choosing to have them dictate the life I lived. You chose to make me feel like things are to be blame on my side. Your character changes are my faults, the events caused are mine as well. I don’t think I will ever know why; I don’t even want to.

But despite of this, I like to think you are afraid. You are afraid of showing warmth to another in fear that they would take advantage. In fear that they would leave you because you are easy to hurt and easy to manipulate. By showing that you aren’t afraid of that is a way of telling them that you don’t need them and that if they want to stay in your life, they need to behave.

You want them to be desperate for you because you believe that your actions would make them think twice before leaving you all alone. After all, if they treasured you, then they should do all their best to stay here in your life. It’s like being strong in front of enemy, making them think you are strong. After all, you looked at everyone as an enemy. An enemy that would take advantage in every way.

I’m telling you here, right now and then. If you think this way, you are wrong. We never once thought that way. We always wanted the warmth from you. When you thought being strong and uncaring kept us with you, it kept us apart instead. You believe that it’s because we didn’t love you enough when in actuality, we love you too much to look down on ourselves, believing we aren’t enough for you, thus keeping us away from you.

In the end, despite of all the love we have, we leave because we know our needs can’t be fulfilled by somebody who was too afraid to go forward. We can’t live damaging ourselves and you do that to us.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry even now that I can’t help you. I understand your fear and problems. But because I’m damaged by you, I can’t afford to be within your presence any longer. I learned that I’m not enough to handle you, to help you out. I hope you find that person and I hope you learned that one day, it’s okay to show warmth to another.

Yours Sincerely,

The tired and broken one.