Dead Girl Walking
I
The
pretty girls
smile and dance
on the hot asphalt.
She watches from a
distance as they giggle
and chase colourful spirits
across the playground.
They do not dance with her;
she does not belong.
She wishes she
were one of the
pretty girls.
II
He died in March.
She watches
every morning as
the horror grows:
alone in isolation,
alone in isolation,
clinging desperately
to the image of grace -
if only she were
one of the pretty girls.
III
She
crafts
the tools to
tame the beast.
No longer will she
succumb to such impulse;
no longer will she fill with shame.
In this world of the imperfect,
she will be the leader of a
rebellion of
one.
Defiance
in her eyes,
anger in her
heart, she spits out the
fattening rules and
forges her own;
she stamps out
reality and
reshapes
truth.
With ease,
with triumph,
she wields fear as a
weapon and molds it
into an impenetrable cage;
proudly ties her crumbling
body to the tracks and
abandones it to
conduct the
incoming
train.
One step more and she will be strong;
One mile more and she will belong.
IV
Shackled in her cage of
fear and compulsion,
she paces;
she counts
the seconds,
the minutes,
the days;
the Terror grows wings and spreads -
she is filled with delusion -
The world spins on; time passes -
she despises too much,
she despises too little.
In the blackness
of her brain,
the world
shrinks
to
a
singularity:
all that matters is control.
V
It is not that
she has become
the monster,
the disease,
the terror -
It is that the monster
has always spoken
in her voice.