“Why mommy, why would you lie?”

"Mommy, do you remember that thing we always said when I was littler?"

"What do you mean, dear?"

"I think it was, I love you, but I'm not really sure anymore. What does it mean Mommy?'

"Honey," she hasn't stopped looking at me like that since. Those sad eyes that seem to say she failed me as a parent. It never stops, not even ten years later. I think she wanted to tell me, but at the same time she didn't understand herself anymore. Maybe she never did, I know I never did. Maybe that's how I've found myself in some of these situations. Searching for what I assume love is from the movies, or from the books, but how do I know which one is real? I've seen the movie fairytales where everything seems perfect. but I've also seen the book devastations where the girl is heartbroken and doesn't survive, the guys doesn't know what to do so he bails, and no one wins at all, not even fake happiness.

"Oh honey, it's when you fall helplessly for someone, so much that you can't live without them." Now that really screwed me, because after everything in my life, I know I won't ever find that. So lets hope that isn't what love is. "Love -an intense feeling of deep affection", wow you were so off, it's when you care for someone so greatly, that you can live for them.

"Why mommy, why would you lie to me?" I wish I could say that, but there's alot of things I want to say, but don't have enough time to say and explain. Why mommy, why would you lie to me, plant that tiny seed that happiness is real, when really its a fairytale from our storybook. The one that I begged you to buy, begged you to read to me, but I never heard a word of that book. "Why mommy, why would you lie?"