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Challenge of the Week LXXXVII
Descriptive Writing. One of the four foundational elements of the written word. You can write about anything you want, poetry or Prose; but make sure to focus on your descriptions. Whether you're describing a character, a setting, or an emotion, we want the imagery to leap out of the page. But tread lightly - there is such a thing as too much description. We're looking for that perfect balance. Imagery that sings, but doesn't scream.
daleemmert
76 reads

Denial

When you reach 65, I guess the depression question becomes routine during a standard medical checkup.

“Do you often feel down, depressed, hopeless or worthless?”

“Yes”

“Do you have thoughts of suicide?”

“Yes.”

Alright thank you. The doctor will see you soon.

And then, of course, the doctor doesn’t bring it up again and I certainly don’t either, because I’m embarrassed to admit to being depressed and especially to contemplating suicide.

“So what can I do for you today?” he asks.

And I tell him I am concerned about my blood pressure and a bruise on my leg and acid reflux and plantar fasciitis and he doesn’t inquire about depression and I don’t bring it up… don’t ask don’t tell…and so on the way home I am thinking why do I bother to go to the doctor if I don’t tell him what’s wrong and then I realize he would just refer me to a counselor and I hate counselors so I will just endure the pain.

Depression catches me in a weak moment when I’m thinking of how much I miss my children and grandchildren, regrets from the past and not much hope for the future. It’s cold steely fist grabs a piece of my gut and I have to quickly find a place to cry and get over it. But a few times I have been caught, so I have to explain it’s clinical depression and yes I know how to deal with it and no I don’t need help. I know what to do. And of course that takes a great burden away from anyone thinking they might have to do something and it is real pathetic for an old man to cry. Who wants to see anyone cry or hear their sad stories? It is beyond pathetic and weak. So please just forget about it. It will go away. It always does.

I know it’s coming from inside my brain, but it feels like an outside surprise attack.

Of course, there is no one to talk to and if there were, I wouldn’t. Complaining is such a seriously pathetic stupid thing to do and it can really ruin a friendship. Not that I have a friend, but if I did…

But I’m better now and so please don’t bring it up any more. I am seriously better, no longer feeling sorry for myself. Let’s talk about sports.

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