Alone

i feel a sadness dance into my soul

when i’m least expecting it.

it’s not when i’m lonely in my room at 2 am,

as the TV shows portray.

no, it’s when i’m with my family

or talking with my friends.

simply having fun.

the aching and pain and loneliness

tell me how pathetic i am

any chance they get.

but really,

the aching and pain and loneliness

are just words to describe an ugly pain that is truly

indescribable.

it is just felt with every nerve,

and then packaged into the nearest fitting word.

“depression”

“anxiety”

“anorexia”

“schizophrenia”

all fail to explain the feeling,

the one that differs from person to person,

so much so

that no one can understand your pain

except yourself.