Depression, my lifelong friend.

At 28, I have a hold of my depression.

I’m not surprised when she comes to visit,

Hell, we’ve been friends so long that she has a key to my house..

She wanders in on the most random days and eats all the food in my fridge.

Other days, she’s there when I wake up, but she just wants to sleep all day instead.

I met my depression when I was fairly young.. Probably around fourth grade.

I can’t recall if there were any major triggers; but what is a major trigger to a ten year old? My best friend moving away? Getting molested? Who knows?

All I know is she’s been with me since.

For as terrible as she’s treated me over the last two decades: causing unnecessary drama, weight gain, weight loss, forcing me to quit things that I love, pushing away people I loved, making me want to kill myself at times..

For all those terrible things, she’s also the friend that’s been there the longest and the most steady...

I never question whether I’ll see her this week or not.... Cause I know I will.

I’ve even taken medication to get rid of her.. But it doesn’t always work..

Some meds have made her angry and apathetic- thanks Prozac- never again.

Some meds have made her visit me less often for shorter periods of time.

But I know she’ll always check in.

Ya know, that friend who texts you out of the blue to remind you of that time you two did that really awful or embarrassing thing?

Yep, that’s my depression.

So No, there’s no getting rid of her...

But honestly, I don’t know if I really want to; she’s been around for so long and I share so many memories with her.

If I were to get rid of her...

What would be left of me?