Gluttony

A chip and a hopefulness that this will be the comfort my starving soul needs.

A bag and a numbness that does nothing to quell my growling body.

A carton and a compulsion to continue feeding my soul even as it is drowning.

The race has begun, but I cannot see the finish line.

I am the only competitor in this self-indulgent and tasteless race.

Only one more chip to finish the bag.

Maybe a few more.

It’s hard to tell what will put an end to this ravenous, revolting famine.

Such emptiness comes from this fullness.

l wait for the comforting pain of my stomach finally constraining my greed.

I wait for the acidic taste of guilt and shame.

I wait for the shakes and sweats followed by exhaustion.

I pray this exhaustion will be of food and not will power.

I pause hoping the compulsion will end and this binge will be done.

Just one more chip.