9.20 I

Today, I learned you get nothing you don't ask for. Whether it's intervention of the higher-power kind, whether it's your insecurity or fear of being told no... You do not get what you don't ask for.

II.

Today I learned that I need help, and I don't now how to ask for it sometimes. Sometimes I find myself in a place of loneliness and despair when there is no cause for it is me that's forgotten to do something. I've forgotten to ask for help. In desperation to matter and be noticed I sink to a league of the sea where I'm starting to lose conciousness and I don't know how dire the situation is. I'm not a strong swimmer. Without help, what was a quick swim turned into a dark descent.

III.

Today I learned I must treat myself the way others would be treated by me. I want to feel the same inclusiveness they feel. I want to feel the tendrils of empathy where they feel safe in their vulnerability with me. Empathy comes with a price, it comes with interest due at a high rate. It's best to pay off debts and return to a place of security, saving. Today I learned I need to save myself for me.