Fear? Anxiety? Stress? My Body?

My grandma said to my mother, "She is a fearful child."

When I was a freshman in high school, I had my first seizure during gym. We thought it was from the heat and from a low blood sugar. But then it happened again randomly sophomore year. I had to change schools for my junior year. I had a seizure in November. Then in December. Then in January. My parents found a way to put me back at my old school. I went my whole senior year seizure free. Freshmen year of college rolls around and I almost fainted in August of that school year. I recently had a seizure on campus in April and woke up in an ambulance. I had another in May where I wouldn't have breathed for a bit without being moved.

I have had a lot of testing done. In summary, no doctor is able to see a physical problem with me. We are getting closer to a final agreement that it is from stress and anxiety.

I wish I didn't feel so trapped in my body. This condition makes me more fearful of when another seizure might happen. It has kept me from working. I can't drive. I dropped out of school for now. I need to take online classes instead. My memory has been slowly decreasing. I have had word finding difficulties. I feel like I can't live or move on. The cause of these seizures, whatever that is, is my greatest adversary.