back is a dangerous direction to gaze in

I think

I'll sink

slower

if I remove

my organs

I never needed

my lungs

in the first place

and now

they're just an

extra weight

on my chest

and the valves

in my neck

were always

clogged by

unspilled secrets

unanswered questions

unfulfilled promises

sopping with

regret

sobbing til we

forget

what it is to smile

I think

I'll sink

slower

if I unload

but maybe

it's better

to reach

the ocean floor

before

I begin

to wish

I hadn't

jumped