I realized...

Everyone says how much they can not wait to get out of high school. To go to college or to just become an adult but no one told you how much you was going to miss being a teenager. Miss going to school despite having to learn and wake up at 6 in the morning. I realized as I walked through my door after work, said hello to my parents and went downstairs to my room, how lonely I felt.

Sure, I talked to some of my friends from high school every once in a while, check up on them and see how they are but it is not the same. I’ve been working for almost three months now and I have no friends or somebody to hang out with on my days off. No boyfriend to cuddle with because he in college and always busy. I realized how much I may laugh and smile and act as... myself: goofy, childish and full of energy at work with my co-workers but thats just it. They are just my co-workers, nothing more. I try to get their numbers or hint that I want to hang out with somebody, to actual have friends outside of work but it never works.

So here I am, sitting in the darkness of my room, staring at my phone as no one has texted with tears streaming down my face. “I’m so alone... I’m so alone.” I whispered, curling up into a ball and crying until I couldn’t breathe. Until I had a headache.

I just cried because I realized how alone I am. And how I wished I did not have to move after graduation. Away from my friends. Away from my happiness.