Moving on.

_____

Her eyes lids slowly opened to reveal warm chocolate coloured eyes. Her breathing sounded calm despite her raging inner conflict and her eyes looked disinterested and bored but if you looked closer you could see the sad glint in her eyes and the red rim around her iris in her to show she’d been crying and the slight hitched in her breathing every few minutes.

She watched the pale blue sky devoid of any white clouds as she lay on the grass, the wind blowing gently across her petite form. The sky looked so lonely as it endless stretched out with no birds flocking by and no clouds floating and it reminded her so much of herself.

On a day like this as the sun’s scorching heat beat against her form and the summer wind was gently blowing by she would be overjoyed. She would have been all laughed and smiles by now— though she wasn't. Her lips were thinned into a straight line and as time passed by it was slowly turning into a visible frown. The aura around her was grey and depressed.

And all her mind was occupied with him.

__________

A year had passed by as the girl had grown up. She had turned seventeen this year. There were subtle changes to her appearance as time passed. Her long, lengthy black hair was now always worn in a ponytail than before when she had it always in a bun and sometimes just open. She had also gotten taller by a few inches. The most visible change one would really notice was her necklace.

She stopped wearing the locker necklace he gave to her. A momentum and a single reminder to what could've been. Her resolve to put behind her past and repress her memories of him.

It never worked.

___________

It was during the season of autumn as the earth colours filled the area and the plants and trees were slowly dying that she had met Lucas.

She was in front of her house sweeping up the piled leaves on the pathway when she moved her head up and saw an old couple moving in next doors. She was reminded of the previous day when her mother told her about how they would get new neighbours.

She dropped the broomstick on the floor and moved towards her new neighbours. She flashed the old couple a smile as she offered to give a hand with moving in. The old couple looked at the age of sixty, wrinkled and warm with smiles. Her heart warmed as she helped them moving in.

“Oh thank you, dear, ” The old women smiled at her as they dropped the last box into the house.

“It’s nothing really. Isn't it normal to help your neighbours?” She replied with a soft look.

“Do you want to stay for tea?” Peaking out of the kitchen and into the hallway, the old man asked her.

“Tea?”

“Do you not like tea? Then do you prefer something else?”

“Oh no, no. Tea is perfectly fine. Thank you,” And with that, she soon found herself sat in the chair in the living room gazing out the window as she drank tea. A solemn look in her eyes as she watched the autumn leaves falling, saturated colours of green and yellows painting the ground and everywhere as she reminisced of him.

The sound of knocking disturbed her from her past as she looked up to see the old women walk into the living room with a bright smile. “Oh, that must be my grandson. He was supposed to becoming earlier to move in with us but he was caught up with something. I have a feeling you will both get along really well, ” She felt the old women knew more than she let on as she felt her eyes had crinkled knowingly at her but she only met this old couple so how could they know anything about her. She shook her at her silly ideas as she sipped the last of the tea and got up.

She walked into the hallway where she saw the old man greeting a young man into the house. She paused in her footsteps as the young man also paused when he saw her.

For a moment brown eyes met hazel.

__________

“I like you,”

Her eyes widen a fraction as she couldn't find her voice anymore. She flinched under his warm gaze. She felt his hand caress her cheek in affection as waited for her answer. She gave none. “I’m not asking for your love back, ” He continued. “I just wanted to tell you this. You don't have to do anything. I won't mind if you still want to be friends, ”

She knew he was lying. It had been a few months since Lucas moved in with his grandparents and they had gotten closer over time so she could tell when he was lying. She knew this well as— she has been through this before.

Her mind was still occupied by another and she didn't want to give Lucas some half-hearted feelings of maybes and hopes that might be broken. Her eyebrows borrowed and her lips thinned into a straight line as she looked into black eyes. Her mouth prepared to form the words for his rejection but as they started to move— no words came out. Her mouth left hanging slightly open as she looked at Lucas.

She didn't want to lose him because of this.

He just smiled knowingly at her as he pulled her a hug. She felt tears prickle the corner of her eyes as she borrowed her face into his neck. He just held her close as she sobbed quietly.

She knew he understood her. Her hesitation and everything else and she knew that he liked her for some time and he knew that she knew.

And they both knew why she didn't say anything and still couldn't say anything.

She knew when every time that she looked at Lucas and spent every moment with him, there was less pain in her heart as she looked at the locket hanging on her wardrobe. There were fewer times that she found herself grieving and swallowing her self in her past, thinking of him.

It was a gradual build-up to when she found herself every time she looked at the pale blue sky or saw the locket she no longer felt any pain. But there was lingering guilt because even if she got what she wanted to forget him and everything she could help but feel like she was just replacing him. (even if she knew that was not the case.)

She didn't want that for Lucas.

“You’re not replacing me with anyone, ” The soft voice of Lucas pulled her out of her thoughts. “You don't have to completely forget him, I'm not asking you do to that, ” He nuzzled her head. “I just didn't want to dance around anymore around us and this— I just wanted to tell you...”

“I love you, ”

Her breath hitched as she daringly picked her her head and looked up to his face. He smiled warmly at her. His eyes crinkling slightly. She brought her hand to his cheek as her eyes dropped to his lips.

Is this fine? Am I doing the right thing?

She glanced back into his eyes fearful and uncertain. His smile never wavered as he held her closer, his arms wrapped around her like a blanket. She knew he was waiting for her answer and she knew he knew what she was going to choose as she saw the knowingly glint his eyes.

But— No Buts!

With a swallow, she threw away all her doubts and everything else. She clutched her eyes tight shut as she crashed her lips into his.

She ignored the whispering echo of her past in the back of the head, all that could go wrong in the distant future. Instead, she focussed on how his lips felt against hers. The constant beating of her heart against her rib cage. This feeling of euphoria— as she pulled him tighter. As he held her close.

“I love you too,” she murmured. He smiled against her lips.