DRIVE-BY FRUITING ON MACKINAC ISLAND

MACKINAC ISLAND (MI). Two killers are at-large in the abduction and murder of a member of the Mackinac Island Band of Chippewa Hotel Pumpkins late Friday night.

"The reasoning is still unknown at this time," said MIPD Officer Sean Kelly. "It appears Mr. Jack O'Lantern was abducted at 7221 Main Street and was later tossed from a moving vehicle a half block away before he was gourd on a pole outside The Pancake House at 7245 Main Street. A truly senseless act. We have a warrant out for a Mr. Barley Corn who was seen pie-eyed and stalking him earlier in the evening."

Mr. O'Lantern stems from a large family on the island. A service is planned for Saturday when his remaining seeds will be scattered.