Missing My Childhood

My childhood was filled with deaths. My mother died when I was six, and ever since that day, I've secluded myself from the world. If I could go back, knowing the things that I know now, I would. I would be outgoing, just like I am now. I would show my true colors, and make more friends. I wouldn't have to feel all the pain of feeling lonely all that time because I would be able to talk to people instead of holding back. If only I could go back. My sister would know how much I care about her. My adopted mother wouldn't have gotten yelled at twice a week. It hurts so much to think about my childhood because I didn't have the skills I had now. I know I'm not the greatest writer in the world, but these are my actual feelings. I really don't know how I survived all these years without a childhood. Also, I'm not saying that no one else has had harder things happen to them. I know that many people have been hurt worse.

That day when my mother died, I realized that my life would never be the same. I was right. I remember the funeral, and I remember saying that my mother's hands were cold. I remember, that day, I lost my feelings.

The day that I got diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ASD was a day that I just couldn't understand. I don't really know that worrying about it helped either.

Basically, I wish that I could change the fact that I was an introvert. I would tell myself to get out there, and change the world. It may not be possible, but I know that I've changed. I really do know that. Thanks for reading my story.